Mar. 8th, 2017

marchionessofmustache: (Default)
SOOOO If you're wondering why I haven't been uploading play diaries (haha jk no one is wondering that) it's because I forgot my controller over the weekend (I think I mentioned that?) and indeed started working on my website, which now I've become absorbed in that. A lot of the "work" so far has been learning and understanding as I've never really built a website before and I had no idea how DBMS worked or how to use PHP or CSS or anything and the extent of my HTML knowledge came from like... using lj.

So I'm moving along kinda slowly but I'm getting the hang of it. Learning exactly how databases worked and how to connect to a database server with PHP was like... the biggest hurdle I had to overcome, because I literally knew NOTHING about this subject and didn't even really know what I was supposed to be looking for.

But once I figured that part out, it's been moving pretty slowly.

I'm going to keep working on this and then migrate the play diaries over there, once I've finished it and found a way to host it. I'll also be able to host the images so there will be no more broken images, and everything will look and be organized so much nicer.

But then since I'll have the website up and working (and honestly doing the play diaries first is a good way to learn my way around all this tech before trying to make my tutorial site) I'll of course want to start working on the tutorials lol so I'll probably end up slowing down play diaries to work on tuts.

I think what I'll do is go to doing only one play diary at a time. I'll probably alternate between doing SaGa and TokiMemo plays. So I'll finish up unsaga very soon (I have enough caps and progress for another entry... I actually could probably go to the end right now, but something cool happened and it makes me want to power up the party even more XD)...

Then I'll only have RSG3 to work on, and I'll start alternating after that (so, tokimemo after rsg3, then probably another scarlet grace run or maybe unsaga again, cuz I kinda wanna finish all the scenarios XD). I actually have enough content for another RSG3 entry, too, lol.

Though I'm not going to work on this now, I kinda want to create an unsaga fansite, or maybe like an entire SaGa series fansite. Something like Serebii but for SaGa XD I appreciate the SaGa wiki but I want to be able to do more with it and not have it be on wikia and etc. But yeah XD

For now, working on website. Once I get the 'base' down, it will just be a matter of migrating all the entries. That's going to take a long time because I will 1. have to reformat each entry individually and 2. have to find all the images that broke so I can reinsert them. Though while I'm "reformatting" (which will be pretty easy) I'm going to also try to maybe fix some typos and grammar errors and stuff as I go... so that will take a while. I may even touch them up a little (like... fix paragraphing issues and stuff idk XD) just because it will bug me not to do it as I reread them looking for typos and stuff XD

So it will probably easily be a couple weeks before I get back to doing play diaries...? I don't want to create MORE reformatting work for myself by creating more entries right now XD Though I do kinda miss playing the games XDD So IDK exactly what I will do. I mean, I guess I can keep playing and just not make new posts LOL. But I don't want to like... have tons of screenshots and not remember what happened?

Anyway, that's what's happening with me lol. I also started trying to exercise... today was day 2. I have some other 'life improvements' as recommended by my therapist but uhhh they are hard LOL (it's like, facing your fears kind of things lol)

But exercising puts me in a better mood which makes me more likely to be able to do those things, so it's good. And even though it's minor stuff that most people wouldn't view as any kind of accomplishment whatsoever, I actually have been trying to confront things that make me anxious and force myself to do things even though I feel afraid to do them, like uh... leaving other people are in the apartment (as in, like, chancing interactions with people LOL)

Also I've told a couple people about my autism diagnosis and most people like get weird about it like they aren't sure how they're supposed to react?? Like... I think that people don't know like... if they're supposed to feel bad or something because I think people don't really understand what autism is lol.

But uh personally I am happy to have the diagnosis because knowing I am autistic is a lot more helpful than wondering if I am -- basically all being autistic means is just that I experience the world differently from non-autistic people, and knowing this means I can better tailor my self-care and how I relate to others because I can better understand what kinds of special needs and circumstances I have.

Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with autistic people in general, no matter how it manifests, and I don't think it's really something that should hold people back or whatever -- though I think we live in a society that only values neurotypical people, so most problems autistic people face are problems caused by a lack of understanding or compassion from others, stigmatization, and trying to use goods, services, etc. that are created specifically for allistic people rather than the actual neurological differences themselves. Like when a left-handed person is injured from using a tool only designed for right-handed people, it is not because the person is ~afflicted~ with a ~left-handed disorder~ that makes them like... some broken subhuman that is less than a right-handed person... it just means that the design of the tool is flawed because it doesn't take into the account that not all people are the same.

Of course, there are some harmful things that autistic people can do to themselves or others, but not any more or less than harmful things allistic people may do to themselves or others, so... honestly autistic people are just different, and that's really it. It's just... a different kind of person to be. Just like speaking a different language and coming from different culutres or something, it just changes the way you communicate and experience the world, but it doesn't make you any less of a person or anything? And it's not really something to be pitied or whatever, it's just... being different.

But yeah I felt like this long before even realizing I might be autistic so I'm not just like... saying it because I got a diagnosis or something lol. And because I felt this way I was kind of shocked that other people seemed uncomfortable or pitying when I said I was diagnosed, though I guess I honestly should not be surprised because of the aforementioned stigma...

Um, in other news, this guy who I already forgot his name has been cast as the new Trek captain. I appreciate that it's an older man with a rectangle head but I'm sad that he's very ... British-looking and bald-faced. Though he is still quite handsome and I like his thin lips lmao.

OK I have rambled enough. Back to dev.


marchionessofmustache: (Default)

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