no subject

[marchionessofmustache]

I'm feeling exhausted and panicked at the same time how is this even a thing

Also I got a voice mail today after like 99999 phone calls and I guess the like neuropsych people have been attempting to call me to set an appointment oops

I don't answer the phone though especially if I don't know who it is so lolllll

I might have to call them back........................ I'm hoping they just call me again though and I'll try my best to answer it

That's both easier and harder than calling myself. Calling myself is like physically harder because I like have severe attacks and cry and stuff and sometimes just can't do it. Answering a call I can do it but if it's not at the perfect time then I just ... won't answer it. And like, I'm just constantly in a state of worry knowing that I'll have to eventually answer the phone and I have no idea when they'll try to call again so alskdfjalskdf

It's 730 and it's getting dark. I almost want to just like... try to go to sleep now. I'm so tired. The last three days I've slept horribly.

But I'm also like really excited to finish Ruby's scenario so I kind of want to do that. But I'll probably enjoy it more if I'm not like... tired and panicked? Awake and panicked is a much better way to play game lol

Tired

Comments

[thenicochan.livejournal.com]

I get pretty ansty about making outbound calls, so I can relate to the feelings you must have. I hate to be "that guy", but I actually think making the call is probably for the best. It sucks, I know, and can be difficult, but once it's done then it's done and you don't have to have the idea that they might call you at any moment and you'll miss it in the back of your mind. That thought stresses me out to no end. So, I know it's awful, but it might be more beneficial in the long run, in terms of your mental health, to make the call and suffer/cry for five minutes as opposed to having to wait for (possibly) days until they decide to call you back-- if they decide to call you back-- and have it cause anxiety in the back of your mind that entire time. Just my two cents.

[thaao.livejournal.com]

Oh, I can spend easily 5-6 hours trying to make a phone call before actually succeeding. I mean like, actively sitting over the phone trying to do it and feeling dizzy and crying and panicking and stuff. Sometimes I can expend multiple days of nothing but actively shaking while staring at my phone, and eventually getting worn out and going to sleep. It took me 3 days to set my first appointment with my new doctor. I didn't even eat (well J ate on the third day after calling but it took me like many days after that to feel comfortable again). It is a legit phobia, not like a general anxiety thing. I have gone months without talking to a friend in any way because they called me like multiple times and the idea of communicating with them at all made me uncomfortable. I even deactivated my facebook over it lol. I am gonna try tomorrow if I don't get a call today though. Because at that point I think I will have pretty much no choice. I might have to stay home and not visit Dennis this week so I can try making the call. Maybe I will try later today though. But yeah it is not just 5 minutes haha. Life is fun.