Sep. 20th, 2016 12:21 am
marchionessofmustache: (ロマサガ3・ウォード ♥ 普通)
Well, I posted about it on FB but doctor went well. It's been quite a ride getting to this point but I got there. There's still a lot to do but I feel accomplished.

I'm going to get tested for a lot of things but for now I guess just working on lifestyle changes a bit at a time, and trying out a medication for now that might?? help with anxiety?? Though I'm not sure. I'm going to try to start it tomorrow. The doctor wasn't particularly adamant about me trying it but said I could if I wanted to, and to just stop if it isn't helpful or if there's bad things lol.

I still have never learned how to swallow pills though...?! So I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'll cross that hurdle tomorrow I guess.

I played FFEX today a lot and I cleared the game, among other things. Apparently it is required of me to watch the credits roll and listen to the faint, poor-quality noise coming out of the 3DS that I can barely hear and I should feel bad for not wanting to replay the whole ending thing again right this moment even after playing it pretty much all day and finally stopping... I think this kind of guilt/pressure is a big reason why I don't like to play this game so much because the game is a source of stress instead of entertainment lol. I cleared the game so IDK how motivated I will be to continue XD At least after clearing it I kept playing and wanted to try collecting more things and going on (there's a ton of post-game content) but now that I have Obligations™ with the game I feel demotivated to keep playing XD

Other than that I didn't do much today? I had a pizza? Going to the doctor was kind of exhausting honestly. Plus all the walking. It's kind of a far walk back. And I had to stop at the drug store and the grocery on the way back.

Anyway I'm going to at least work on sleeping well (IDK how I can really improve this; I already do all the things you're 'supposed' to do) and trying to do some exercise everyday, and keep a health journal... probably here but in private posts. I wasn't told to do that but I just want to do it myself, I guess.

Aug. 11th, 2016 02:58 am
marchionessofmustache: (ロマサガ3・ウォード ♥ 普通)
I keep meaning to post here but I keep feeling like "Oh, I'll post when I have more things to say" but then I end up sleeping or something and then doing that again the next day?? lolol

I've been mostly just playing Final Fantasy Explorers... I finished some more outfits and have been focusing on building my Dragoon character who is really fun. I even made notes today of all the stuff I need for him like the mutations and stuff. It's... so much to keep track of though T_T I also played with [livejournal.com profile] zaddy who helped me farm items and do some tough quests yay XD

I think what I want to do next is make a better gun and some medium armor and revive my Ranger build. Or wait, were they bows? I don't even remember. Some kind of ranged attacks, idk. I need to figure out if it was a bow or a gun now LOL. It's been so long XD

If my brother does eventually get the game (he prolly won't tho honestly) I kinda wanna see if he'll want to do a black & white playthrough where he plays black mage and I play white mage for the whole game (up until the ending at least, then we can do whatever). I suggested if he gets it that we both make a secondary file to play together, so we don't get ahead of each other.

I also started playing that new Pokemon fan game called Pokemon Uranium. I only played a little though.

There's some cute stuff:



But a lot of it is weird. I have more to say about it but I don't feel like it.

I've been feeling like starting a new game recently. Not this Pokemon Uranium thing though. Like, not necessarily a new new game, but just starting a new game. I think I'm giving up on Romancing SaGa 3 for now. I love that game but I always eventually get kind of burned out on it? It's not even really burned out; it's like I'm intimidated to go forward? I think it's because the game is in Japanese and I just don't have the energy to read everything, because it's not natural like English; a lot of mental energy goes into reading/understanding the game. If it was something like Tokimeki Memorial, that's one thing, because they say really common everyday stuff, but the stuff in a fantasy game is not common stuff that I'm going to be super familiar with and sometimes I have to use a dictionary or just not understand parts and the entire game is about picking up on hints and figuring out what to do based on those hints so YEAH it's a lot of effort. There is a fan translation but ... I just don't like playing it because I don't agree with some of the translations... it's not BAD, it's just because I know what the original says it bothers me and I get easily upset about stuff like that. Like it's not even major stuff, it's petty things like in the beginning of the game you choose a star sign and it determines your base stats... in the translation they call it a job class LOL. Like, who even cares, it's completely irrelevant after that initial selection and you never see/hear of it again LOL And then I don't like some of the name translations like Katalina is "Katrina" and Wod is "Wood" and stuff like that XD

I really wish you could put your PSP games in your Vita somehow, because I'd play TokiMemo 4. I love that game, but playing PSP is so annoying. I don't think I want to play something particularly long. Maybe I'll play another runthrough of Legend of Legacy?

I don't feel like playing something big/long like Harvest Moon. I don't feel like playing something as small as a Mega Man game, though. I guess another play of Ark of Napishtim wouldn't be so bad. I still fantasize about the characters a lot (mostly Agares, I've gotten rEALLY into Agares for some reason, probably because I headcanon that he pervs over that giant frog monster, but also probably because he's a fat sleazeball and for some reason I like that type? Plus he's got the bald-but-side-hair -- does this have a name?!?! -- and fancy clothes and a beard...)

I kinda want to make a "perfect save" in the game with max level, max money, etc. But max level will be... ridiculous to obtain. I think the max level is 60. You can get to about 54-ish before enemies start giving your 1 EXP each (EXP scales with your level, and the final boss is only like level 50 or 51, so you're not really intended to get to 60 anyway). At that point, it's just a matter of trying to fight as many enemies as you can quickly since they're all giving you 1 anyway. And you're needing to get like 5,000 EXP or something for a level up XD But there's this room with a ton of bats where you can probably get about 10 EXP in a couple seconds? You'd easily max money while doing that. I don't know about maxing your emelas. It also wouldn't be too hard to max your items. The main thing you have to do is make sure you don't ever use your blue potions or whatever the highest level ones are, because items max at 9, and there are exactly 9 of those in the game.

But then you have Catastrophe mode where you don't get any items, but you can buy stat-boosting items and max your stats, something you can't do in the regular mode. So should I do two perfect game saves, one on each mode? My first time playing through the game, I played on Nightmare-Catastrophe (and I feel like if I'm going to do this, it should be on Nightmare difficulty since that's the highest? Or maybe do it on every difficulty LMFAO), and I can't just continue that and perfect game, because I missed some missable stuff. I didn't get the letter for Baslam from ... the one guy (I forget a lot of names already), and I gave the alcohol to the Romun guy in the tavern instead of the drunk fisherman dude, which means I got money instead of the item you eventually get for that little subquest. I don't even know if I still have a save from before going to the final area (where you can't come back from) anyway.

BTW today I made curry and it was great. I talked about this on tumblr and meant to post it on here, but ... well in short I think I've got it down where I can make 8 meals out of curry for around $8-10. That's not bad at all. I just can't let my brother have any lolol. But yeah basically I'm making just mushroom and spinach curry, so I bought 4 large white mushrooms, a bunch of spinach, and an onion. Actually I should get 2 onions next time because 1 was not very much (using only a quarter onion at a time, making 2 servings at a time... 1/8 onion is not a lot of onion in a serving XD) And of course curry blocks, which come 8 blocks in a pack for around $4-5. Anyway, I can use one mushroom, about 1/4 of the bunch of spinach, and 2 blocks of curry (and I guess a little onion) and it's enough to eat one meal and then save the rest leftover for another. Of course, I'm eating a whole cup of rice with it, too.

My brother is going through the rice like crazy though -_- He is really wasteful with food like... he only eats about 1 cup of rice, but he makes like... 4-5 cups at a time. Then dumps it all out. Every single time. And he says "well maybe I'll want some later." but never does. He's been doing this for like a month. We had a 50lb bag of rice and it's going so fast... and he makes rice at least once a day. He spends all his money on drugs so he eats my food and my dad's food X_X My dad blames me for the missing food, so he's more likely to eat my dad's food though, because no one yells at him. If he eats my food, I chew him out lol. Especially because I can barely even afford to feed myself. And when he eats my food, then I end up going hungry.

Anyway, I'm glad with my ability to make 8 servings of curry from one box of blocks and just a few ingredients. If I make it at night I can eat the leftovers the next day. I try to keep a food budget of around $15/week, but if I can get closer to $10, that's good. With 8 meals of curry for around $10, I can spend the remaining $5 on stuff like bologna and bread (which is $2 total and makes many meals lol) and random things I might need/want like potato chips, or a new can of coffee or something. I bought wasabi natto and instant noodles this week, natto is kinda expensive. But I can get 3 small meals out of one pack of natto which is like $3-4. Instant noodles are wonderful but I'm usually hungry after I eat them and have to eat something else, too. Or eat like 3 packs of noodles and then feel sick.

I got a new kind of noodles this week... it was some kind of curry flavor noodles. Not so good. But worth a try. You're actually supposed to drain the water and then mix the sauce to make it more 'curry'-like, but it said you could also not drain and eat like soup if you wanted (like how most instant noodles are). Since I like eating it like soup I decided to do that, but the flavor was kind of weak. But probably because it's not meant to be watery like that. So I guess I should have made it the 'right' way first.

I also got a Shin Ramyun Black which is like... $1.30... a lot for instant noodles, but they are SO GOOD. It's leagues above other noodles. In quality, I'd say Shin Ramyun is even better than Sapporo Ichiban... but Shin Ramyun only comes in very spicy varieties, which is good sometimes but not all the time. Sapporo Ichiban I can eat literally whenever and be satisfied lmao. (They're also pretty expensive for instant noodles, usually around $0.75-$1.00, though at SakuraMart we used to be able to get them for $0.49... though I think they've raised the price there to around $0.65)

I could save more money if I only ate bologna sandwiches but I'm getting so tired of eating those. Plus they're so cheap I feel encouraged to splurge on other things and end up just buying a bunch of stupid stuff, or end up overspending because I feel like I can afford expensive things like four cases of soda or something lmfao.

I don't know why I typed so much about food.

I really wish I had a keyboard. Like, not the one that's part of the laptop. Because I hate having to reach up to the laptop. The computer desk is not made for that. The keyboard shelf thing is where the keyboard should be. Having to reach up to the top part where the monitor should go, and then further up because the front part of the laptop is empty space and the touch pad thing, it's really uncomfortable. I don't like playing keyboard/mouse games too long because my left hand gets so tired of sitting like that. Typing a lot like this is cumbersome, too, lol. I really want a Das Keyboard but... I don't have money for a keyboard XD

Somehow I got very distracted from writing this post and ended up on the Steam screenshots page for Final Fantasy V and someone referred to Dorgann as 渋い (sibui)... this is my first encounter with this word but since it's Dorgann and like who the heck EVER talks about Dorgann EVER besides me, I decided to look it up (if it was some other character I might have just bypassed it). I've probably actually bypassed this word before because it looks familiar lmfao.

ANYWAY, dictionary was not helpful at all, but I just did a search for the word and looked at images and saw how people were using it in context and stuff and well, I can't really come up with a great translation for this word in English, but it seems to mean like... refined? More specifically, it seems to mean like... 'attractively aged,' like... that the attractive appeal comes from the refinement of aging. It's hard to really describe, and it seems lots of people have different opinions on who is sibui, but people at least seem to use it to refer to men who are hot specifically because they're older.

I saw a ranking site thing that ranked (older) men based on four qualities: funny, attractive, cool/stylish, and sibui. Attractiveness seemed to refer to perhaps a personality, and how people rated the sibui-ness of the people kind of helped me get an idea of what it meant. I also saw a thread on an image board that was like 'post sibui older guys and let's swoon~' and like everyone posted really different guys lmfao

I feel like there's a bit of... uniqueness or particularly outstanding quality required? Like maybe something between 'refined' and 'distinguished' would be where sibui lies. It's kinda hard to get an exact hold on it, but I feel like characters like Marquis Ondore would be pretty much exactly who sibui refers to. But some people post some really plain or frumpy types as sibui... so I feel like really the best way to describe it is just attractive due specifically to aged qualities, which means sibui is a word made for me.

There seem to be other uses for the word, such as something best described as 'austere' or 'stern' -- like you'd refer to Naoki Kobayashi this way (though I'd use both meanings to refer to him honestly)



And then further meanings that don't necessarily refer to people/appearances, like harsh or bitter... especially referring to flavors or colors as 'harsh,' people making sour faces would be making sibui faces. Stuff like that.

But it seems the most common usage for the word is to specifically refer to an attractiveness in men that comes specifically from having aged. XD People into old men seem to use it just to refer to the men they like, but general people use it to refer to people with a very refined/distinguished look (I guess because that's conventionally attractive), and a kind of refined/distinguished look not necessarily due to age seems to fall under a general 'sibui' usage as well. Like someone like Eagle from Street Fighter, who isn't necessarily old nor handsome because of his age, but has a very refined/distinguished look.

Wow I've been writing this entry for like 2 hours now. I mean part of that was being distracted and somehow ending up on the FFV Steam community page (I can't even tell you what I was doing before that that lead to that...) and then part of that was trying to get a handle on the meaning of sibui, but... just wow. I guess I'll stop now. I should probably sleep.

(Suddenly I'm wondering if sibui would do well as a porn search term -- I only recently got the idea of searching for porn using Japanese, though Japanese porn streaming sites are pretty terrible in quality; haven't tried image searching much, just bing video searches... I should probably try on more Japanese-oriented search engines too...)

Aug. 9th, 2016 04:31 am
marchionessofmustache: (イース・ダビー ♥ 不安)
OK I ended up trying out Dragoon and it was pretty fun XD

Final Fantasy Explorers )

IDK why I'm not sleeping T_T

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