[34] Garura's Lullaby

[marchionessofmustache]

Another episode, another gun pointed at a child.

This time, Satoshi assumes they've run into the Safari Zone, because there are so many Pokemon around. Takeshi and Kasumi warn that it might be another protected area, but no, there's so many Pokemon, it's gotta be Safari Zone!

And, well, he gets shot. End of series.

Or rather a Junsa from the Safari Zone Artillery appears and takes them into custody. Again, they're in a protected zone and can't catch Pokemon here. And there's some kind of problem with poachers or something, so Junsa realizes that obviously Satoshi and friends are good guys and they offer to help. Because the police always need a group of children tagging along to stop poachers.



And who are these poachers causing trouble? Ah, yes, the Rockets. This time they're after a herd of Garura. Their tactic this time is to scare the Garura with bombs in the sky until they stampede into their big net trap. Of course, the stampede comes right after Junsa and everyone in their little safari buggy.

They manage to get far enough away that the Garura are stopped before reaching them, but then the engine to the buggy overheats.



So while they just sit there staring on and doing literally nothing (What happened to your gun, Junsa?! You can aim at children but not the ACTUAL poachers??) a boomerang flies out of nowhere and hits Musashi in the face before she can start chucking Monster Balls at the trapped Garura. And in comes today's weirdo of the day, Taro. Well, we don't know his name is Taro yet but we will know soon.

Anyway, Taro cuts up the netting with his boomerang and lets all the Garura out. I forget what stops the Rockets from stopping him, probably nothing, because this episode makes very little sense. The rescued Garura beat up the Rockets and send them flying.



Taro jumps in the pouch of one of the Garura and is carried away. Then out of nowhere a helicopter appears with some more weirdos of the day, Papa and Mama. I'm like 90% sure that is their actual names. Papa has a funny look and a little mustache so I... appreciate him, but yeah. Not even a mustache is going to save this episode from hell.

Apparently these dumbasses lost their child Taro by dropping him out of a plane when they were touring over this area before. Luckily the toddler had a parachute that just happened to activate when they dropped him. But yeah, they've been looking and looking forever and their search finally brought them to... the place where they lost him? It took them 5 years to figure to look here again???? I guess it's because they found a recent picture of him in a Garura's pouch. And then Junsa is just like "Oh yeah we know all about this kid lol" and they go off to search for them.

For some reason, Satoshi and friends are carrying Papa and Mama on a litter. Let's just let it make sense, OK? The explain it as "it's because you offered to help in any way, Satoshi!" and it's like... yeah idk I hate this episode.

Anyway, the best and only redeeming part of the episode comes shortly after Takeshi finds a hurt Garura baby and starts to give it medicine. Taro appears and attacks them, but Kasumi interrupts him and explains to him (because he is fluent in Japanese SOMEHOW, when it was shown he wasn't talking when they dropped him from the plane lol) that Takeshi is helping the baby but...

While she lectures him, he just stares at her chest.



And then after a pause, he just asks "Can I suck your tits?"

...

YUP.

It's literally like "Is it alright if I drink from your chest" or something. But in a more crude-sounding way. Hard to explain. But either way, best gag in the series up until now lol. The first time I saw this I died. Thankfully I had Ho-oh down on me and revived. But yeah, I have NO IDEA what they did with this in the English version, but I'm guessing it's NOT THAT lol.

Then they annoyingly recycle the joke by having him ask again for Mama, and then having Papa bare his chest and ask if Taro remembers him from looking at his breast. There's additional gags with Papa being really weird and knocking Taro unconscious with a blow to the head to help him remember them and stuff like that.

Then when finally Taro starts to remember that Mama is his mother, he gets confused because his mom is actually a Garura, and now he has two moms? Then Junsa appears in a buggy -- which, I want to complain, is working perfectly fine, so why did they have to CARRY Papa and Mama ?????? -- and alerts them that the poachers are back.

Taro runs off and and the GGG jumps in the buggy with Junsa and they just abandon the parents in the middle of the jungle, I guess??? They don't even address the fact that they left them behind LOL



Now in a big Garura mech thing, Kojiro shoots tranquilizer darts at all the Garura. But before they can catch them, Taro appears and throws a boomerang. So instead of going through with their plans to capture the Garura, the Rockets decide it would be a better use of their time and technology to try to kill the child, despite the fact that his boomerang is harmless to the mech.

So while they're fighting with rocket punch arm things and stuff, the rest of the goodies show up, and they start trying to fight the tank. Ultimately, they're able to knock the gas cap off the boomerang and have Hitokage set the gas tank on fire, making the mech burst into a giant flaming terror, which somehow still functions, and also somehow gets powered up????????????????????????????????????????????????



So with flaming mech tank powered up and coming at them, everyone starts to run, but then Papa and Mama fly in on their helicopter and crash into the mech, which actually causes it to explode this time, sending the Rockets flying yet again for this episode.

Then everyone stares at the rubble and cries, talking about how the parents gave their lives to protect their child. Then amidst the crying they like... just pop out of the rubble now in leopard skins to match Taro and say they're going to just live in the jungle with him. Because reasons.

And with the day saved, Satoshi and friends head on toward the Safari Zone.

While not as boring as the Digda episode, this episode is arguably even more excruciating to watch. Nothing makes sense and it feels like it was thrown together by a kindergarten class. Outside of the milk drinking joke, nothing is funny, everything is embarrassing, and there's little excitement to be had from the action scenes.

This is probably part of the reason I took such a long time off from writing these -- besides all the life stuff going on, I really didn't want to watch this garbage episode hahaha. It may very well be my least favorite episode of the entire series.

I don't know if I'm "back" to writing these or not, but feels nice to get another one knocked out.

Next up is another banned episode that never saw its way to English-speaking audiences!

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Comments

[thenicochan]

And, well, he gets shot. End of series.

Woke up this morning/ got yourself a gun /Mama always said you’d be/ The Chosen One
Papa is familiar. I feel like this entire episode is a reference to The Lost World, that not so-great Jurassic Park movie. Sure, in that one the kid hadn’t gone full Gau, but still. Actually, there was a while there where “reconnecting with child from a lost time” was a thing in the 90s. Jungle2Jungle, anyone?

Wow. Major boob joke right there in the kid’s show lol. And with a character with a small chest. Like, Takeshi’s boobs are right there TEMU!Gau.

This episode is such a mess hah.

[marchionessofmustache]

I've only seen the original Jurrasic Park and only when I was a kid >_>;

YEAH THIS EPISODE IS A MESS INDEED.

I need to get back to these so THIS isn't my last entry. The next one is pretty cool, too, and I'd like to get to the banned Porygon episode. The copy of it I found has dual audio, and one track is just a single man translating the entire episode into Russian. Thankfully, the other is the original Japanese audio track, but it defaults to the weird Russian thing every time I watch it hahaha.

(lol I was listening to Jojo Siwa on repeat on Spotify and out of nowhere it started playing Britney. Even AI is sick of my Jojo kick.)

[thenicochan]

Damn the original Jurassic Park is so good! I def recommend it for a rewatch. I went a number of years ago to a anniversary showing at a local theater and had an amazing time. it really holds up.

Haha, does the Russian man do the voices? That would be kind of amazing. Where did you even get that copy? That's a lot of fun.

[marchionessofmustache]

I might have to watch it again some time and see how I like it XD

No, he just kinda talks it out. It took me a while to understand what was even going on until I realized he only talks when people talks and heard him saying names of things when the characters would say them lol. I got it on some torrent site XD It was really hard to find a copy of the episode at all at the time. Though I think now there's a better quality one up on nyaa.si, but I'm fine with my copy XD