marchionessofmustache | Entries tagged with life: dennis

I bought Clock Tower: Rewind on my Switch. I've played the SNES version before so it's not NEW but there are new things and it feels 'new' because I just bought it, and it's making me want to play it.

But I'm afraid if I play it I will abandon Girl's Side, and I'm one run away from finishing my playthrough of all the brains.

But I've already played 7 runs of Girl's Side back to back lol.

There's also Pokemon Day tomorrow, and it will probably entice me to play a Pokemon game... there's also rumors we're getting the original three generations of games on the Switch, but when I looked further into it, all I could find was a fan mock-up, and that might be where the rumors started, so there's no real foundation to them... unless the fan mock-up was a response to the rumors and there's a little credit to them...?

In an ideal world, we'd get said collections and they'd surprise drop after Pokemon Presents, but that's extremely unlikely XD They'd probably give us time to preorder...? Unless they're going to be digital-only.

Personally my guess is that those games are slated for Virtual Console on the Switch 2, as there are rumors we might be getting the return of the VC. But then we wouldn't hear about them tomorrow and would probably have to wait until AT LEAST the Switch 2 direct.

Either way, if we DO get them, they'd have to include online mode... as you can't complete the dex without trading. And people would be very unhappy if they didn't allow that in a rerelease.

But yeah... I don't want to play Girl's Side because I'd rather play my "new" game, but I don't want to play Clock Tower because I don't want to abandon Girl's Side. It's quite a conundrum XD

I only got one or two endings on the SNES version (the bad/early ones) so there's still a lot I haven't seen in CT. Sadly, though, a lot of the story has been spoiled for me by playing Clock Tower 2, which recaps the events of the original and references it a lot. I already know the identity of the killer and who dies and who survives lol. But I don't know exactly how it plays out, so I'm still interested in playing the game. And I mean, I replay games all the time, so knowing the story ahead of time has never deterred me from a game.

And for those of you who would like to know, Den is doing well after his brain surgery and recovering better than expected. He mostly just eats and sleeps as that's all his body longs for right now. But he's not in much pain (more discomfort than anything). He does long to be more active, so I'm trying to keep him calm and satisfied with lying around lol.

So, I don't update here much, as I mostly keep to talking about stuff in general on Discord, but I feel I should get this 'documented' here. Especially because I kinda wanna get back into blogging about tokimemo (and maybe Sonic... eventually) and will surely mention it as most of play time will be from the hospital.

So, a year ago, I think I posted about it here, Den developed lung cancer and had a wedge removed of his lung, and they told him his cancer was in remission and they got it all.

Well, turns out they didn't, and now it's stage 4 and has spread to his brain, and possibly other places (we're going to be checking for those soon).

We went to the ER last week because he developed aphasia, and on top of that was having headaches and blurry vision. So we thought he had a stroke and needed to be checked out. CTA scans returned showing lesions in the brain, however. Long story short, after being juggled around by hospitals who weren't able to provide him the care we needed, we FINALLY got him admitted to one in downtown Indianapolis that can take care of him, and we've learned that he has at least 3 tumors and one is large and growing quickly. The large tumor is in the left frontal lobe, which is why it is affecting his speech so much.

He's very slow to form coherent sentences, and even then, sometimes they're not so coherent because he will use random unrelated words instead of the words he intended and not even realize it (example: he referred to pillows as "spoons" and sausage as "pills," etc. without even noticing ht is saying completely unrelated words). Nouns seem to be mostly affected, but now and then the wrong verb or particle or whatever slips out as well.

Because of his age and health (he's also for some reason having terribly high blood pressure) they want to keep him admitted to the hospital and also do not want him to undergo a biopsy. Because of this we are technically not 100% certain it is cancerous but it only makes sense, and all the doctors feel certain it is. He is going to begin radiation therapy soon (they did radiation mapping today) and it may take from 5 to 20 treatments before he will be finished with radiation. If they find cancer elsewhere they may also introduce chemotherapy treatments.

Worried about the stress and toll on his body, Den is not 100% certain he wants to undergo treatment, and might rather live a shorter, happier end of his life at home. Being the age he is, death is something we've talked about a lot and wanted to plan for -- and while I'm certainly never going to be emotionally ready, I have been preparing myself for the inevitable for a while now, and I will respect his decision no matter what. I told him I want him to make the most selfish decision he can and not elongate his life into suffering just for the sake of existing around me for my sake. I'd also rather see him happy and stress-free in the end.

As of right now, he seems to be leaning toward treatment, as it doesn't sound like imminent passing is right around the corner, and he may be able to earn a longer, happier life through treatment payoff.

As long as they can figure out the blood pressure thing, he should be able to continue his treatment as outpatient soon. Right now he is staying in the hospital as his team of doctors closely monitor, test, and prepare him for treatments. But he may be able to return home as soon as tomorrow or the day after at the earliest.

As for me, I think I'm still in denial with my feelings of him being gone soon, yet still making practical plans in case it happens. I think when he does pass, it will stun me for a bit and THEN become very overwhelming. Right now most of my anxiety revolves around making appointments, providing care, all the driving between home and the hospital... not so much on worrying he might die lol. It kind of feels strange that I don't even think about that part. I guess I am waiting to deal with it when it happens, emotionally at least. I'm trying to get him to pay off the house (he keeps procrastinating on it, partly because I think he is in denial that he might die before paying it off 'naturally' at the end of his mortgage cycle; I think it was actually supposed to be done today with the current offer). I might even ask if I can just do it for him (accessing his money), but I'm a little afraid of having that conversation hahaha. I mean I already have access to everything anyway, but I've never utilized my access to his accounts and such on my own.

I've been researching things like section 8 and homeowner's insurance and stuff -- if he leaves me the house and the car, I'm allowed to have them repercussion-free on disability, while any money he leaves me will have to be paid to social security, so I'm trying to convince him NOT to leave me money other than the cash in the safe which will remain unreported lol. But I'm not sure if I have the mental capability to keep up on home ownership. I might also not have the financial capability -- since disabled people aren't allowed to save money, if an appliance broke or something, I'd just be screwed. I guess I'd have to go on payment plans and then not afford anything else or something? I don't know.

But yeah, those are the kinds of things I'm worried about right now. It's not that I'm not emotional about the whole thing -- I've had my share of cries and panic attacks and such at the thought of having to lose my beloved, the most important person in the world to me... but I haven't gotten to the point when I'm wallowing in it. I think it will hit me harder when it actually happens. And I think, maybe, I, too, am in a bit of denial and hanging onto that hope that everything will go well and we still may have quite a bit of time left together.

Anyway, that's what's going on.

So, I had a dream that I was a researcher at a university and I had a little office. I was in a commons area and there were lots of other researchers, students, and teachers and they were talking about sciencey things and arguing theoretical physics and stuff. It made me sorely miss academia. I really miss being able to talk about that kind of stuff with people.

It makes me wonder what kind of communities I could get with like that online...? I have no outlet for it IRL anymore. I didn't go to school for sciences, but we still talked about theories of second language pedagogy and stuff a lot. I need to get back into listening to science and math podcasts and stop listening to so much pop music (but I wanna be top 0.05% of JoJo Siwa fans on spotify again this year!)

Part of it is I just want to keep my brain sharper, but the main part is that thinking about and discussing intellectual topics is just plain fun. I miss being able to talk about this kind of stuff. It's just me and Den now, and we just talk about like TV and music and true crime and cooking and other general interest stuff on a surface level. Nothing stimulating or challenging.

Getting back into computer programming would be nice, too. It would be cool if I had a team of artists that would help me make games. I'd be MUCH more willing to program games if I didn't also have to create the art and music and write the story and etc. But you can't just go online and be like "hey who wants to create an entire game's worth of assets for free?" lol.

I actually had a friend willing to do it once but his art kinda (and by kinda I mean really) sucked and the game looked absolutely awful, so I lost motivation to continue hahaha. Thankfully he won't be reading this XD He can do really awesome art but I feel like he was just throwing stuff together for our project and it looked bad. I easily could have made better assets myself.

Maybe I can get back into programming with a simpler game, like making a Koi-Koi game. I've wanted to do that -- creating one with a furry theme, or an eroge where you basically play strip Koi-Koi lmfao. But even those small projects require artwork assets and such.

I think part of the appeal of making games is the ability to work with a team. It really helps with motivation.

But I guess I'll just keep on living the lonely, braindead life. I'm working on a guide for a Switch game right now for GameFAQs. Maybe when I finish that I'll think about getting back into gamedev.

So, I kinda forgot to post about this here (I have so many places I'm updating), but several days ago, we had a meeting with Dens's cancer specialist, and it seems 1. he is cancer-free now, and 2. he will not have to be on oxygen permanently. So his spirits are very lifted now, and he's doing more around the house, and I'm a lot less stressed out. Yay :)

Well, Den had a part of lung removed... biopsy... turns out it was cancer. So they had to take out a large part of his lung. Now he's on an oxygen machine/tanks. But at least we're home? Not sure how long it will last. He's no longer in good spirits thanks to all of this... It doesn't help that all he's doing is researching internet stuff about the 'dangers' of oxygen and stuff and working himself up X_X;

For me I'm quite worn out, I got so stressed (?) that I got very sick, lost my lunch, and ended up falling asleep 8:30 PM lol.

Don't really feel like going into too many more details about everything, but that's pretty much eveerything anyway.

Before going on, I want to make a a little note. To be short, Dens likely has cancer and is getting part of his lung removed next week. This has been a thing I've known about for a little while and is why I haven't been working on any of my projects or doing much of ANYTHING but playing mobile games.

But I started to break out of that by playing some more comfy things (things I'm very familiar with that are easy to play, like Story of Seasons and Digimon and stuff), and I'll hope to get back into the Pokemon Watchthrough Blog soon, as well as my playthrough of Sea of Stars. But for now I'm having trouble concentrating on something where I just sit and watch, especially since I have to 'actively' listen to understand Japanese (if my mind wanders, I miss what is being said), and feeling very intimidated by things I haven't experienced before.

Watched a friend speedrunning Duke Nukem tonight got me into watching Mega Man speedruns, which made me kinda wanna casually play some ol' ROCKMAN. Particularly in the mood for an X game, and I've created "perfect" stage orders for the first four games, but I've been kinda "stuck" at 5.

Also, random note: I use a mix of Japanese and English terms here because I'm playing the JP version but using EN guides as a reference, so... I don't care to clean it up or be consistent ^_^

( the deets )

Well, I've been keeping up on getting one victory in Street Fighter every day...! I'm on Ryu with Vega right now. Sometimes he yodels. I need to edit my ongoing SF2' post with my thoughts; I've already completed Balrog and haven't written anything about that yet.

After I finish watching Survivor Series 1993 I'll just have like a month of episodes left and I'll have finished all Raw and PPVs for 1993. Huzzah! I haven't watched anything in the last couple days, though; been mostly spending all my time on Twitch.

I really need to call to apply for SSI like... soon. I'm trying to figure out if it's possible to apply online right now but Dens is listening to Tiktok with the volume all the way up and laughing hysterically at it sitting like right next to me and it's taking me like several minutes to type up a sentence for this entry because I can't really concentrate. Reading feels nearly impossible lol.

But yeah I'm in a 'comfortable' position right now because Dens is capable of providing for me but it's not fair on him for me to rely completely on him for everything (well, I do contribute through EBT Snap benefits at least) and I have to consider longevity in the case that anything might happen to him or by some bizarre turn of events we split up (though 11 years in and doing wonderfully, I can't imagine anything like that happening lol).

But of course making a phone call is an incredibly daunting and taxing thing, and having to do an entire application over the phone is like... wow. I need a thousand spoons for that and my daily quota is like ten lmfao. I actually sat and held the phone in my hand shaking for like 2 hours this morning but didn't get anywhere. Maybe I'll talk to my new therapist about it next time.

Oh yeah, that's a thing. I have a new therapist now. My regular one like... got very sick or something? IDK if he's going to come back, honestly. They make it sound like he will but his health seems to be getting progressively worse and he was already talking about retiring anyway, so... this will probably just push him over the edge.

Oh well, there's not much that can be done about this whole thing now that it's the weekend anyway, so I think I'll look into seeing if online applications are opened back up over the weekend and if not, try to get a better number to call. The general number just puts me on hold for like an hour then hangs up on me. At least it did the one time I tried before lol. I haven't had the willpower to try again since then.

I'll leave the SSA tabs up and hopefully remember to do it tomorrow. TBH the biggest motivating factor in all this is that I'd really like to get better internet LMAO. Since my needs are met right now anyway, it doesn't put any kind of pressure or sense of urgency on needing to provide for those things, even though I do have a sense of guilt over not doing it for myself. But I mean, I have a husband who willingly provides for me and regularly reassures me that he wants to do so... that sense of urgency just isn't there.

But recently I've been trying to motivate myself by selfish factors -- if we had additional money not only could I provide for myself and help out with other things that are needed like when we need new appliances or phones or whatever, but I could also do FUN STUFF like buy collectibles and get better internet lol... but also I'm considering using the next stimulus check to pay for better internet for a year and then we can choose to cut back down to shit internet if it's not sustainable. But that's more me looking for 'outs' to ... not apply for SSI. I wish making a single phone call wasn't so difficult for me. And I guess I could technically have Dens do it for me but I feel terrible about that and honestly he would be really uncomfortable doing it because he isn't particularly comfortable on the phone and he wouldn't know what he was doing and would have to keep asking me things which would just make us both anxious and yeah that's just a terrible idea. It's better to just wait until I can muster up the courage to do it myself. But I don't know where to start in my journey of courage-mustering. So yeah I'll definitely have to talk about this in my next therapy session, which sadly is only monthly now because of the high demand. I used to be able to get therapy every week, then it moved to every two weeks because I didn't feel like I needed it every week, but now I'm lucky to get one promptly one month after my last one, and it's a little stressful sometimes, because sometimes I really need advice or at least reassurance to help me get through being alive.

But I make it sound way worse than it is -- I don't really have any challenges right now (except for applying for SSI which is not urgent at the moment) so I'm able to coast pretty well and without having to challenge myself and having a great support system in Dens, I can live pretty comfortably. But it's because I have a very cushy life -- I have all my needs provided for and have a very supportive and helpful spouse who is available 24/7. My obligations pretty much are just going grocery shopping every other week, which I don't have to do alone, and is something routine I'm adjusted to so it only provides minimal challenge for me.

But yeah, I'm rambling at this point and really need to get to bed. But hopefully overthinking about this stuff will be somehow motivating to me tomorrow??? I doubt it, but hey XD

So I guess I should try to think about updating here more >_>

Actually, I want to, not so much because it will actually get read (shoutout to N, my only reader!) but because I just want some kind of outlet to dump my thoughts to no one but in a place where they could potentially be read. It's weird; I don't like keeping a personal journal or diary because it seems pointless to me, but if there's a chance someone will read it, it seems to have meaning to me hahaha. Even when I was but a wee tot and writing in my first paper diary, I imagined someone finding it one day and reading it as some kind of chronicle of my amazing life.

Anyway, let's update on me...?

I don't remember when I last posted. My website died, and I'm waiting to get more money to put it back up. Sadtimes.

All I've been playing recently is Mega Man; I've actually started speedrunning, which is a trip. I was always intimidated by it and thought I would grow to quickly hate the game I was speedrunning or get burned out really fast, but it's actually quite my thing. Similar to recording no-damage runs, it's just practicing the same thing over and over until you get it perfect (or, well, good enough) which is something I like to do.

I'm just doing glitchless MM1 because it's something I'm already quite familiar with and decently good with. I'm used to doing no-damage/no-death attempts, so going for speed is a really interesting change of pace. Because there's times you have to force yourself to get hurt, which at first I didn't like, but then it added another resource management aspect to the game -- in addition to managing your weapon energy you also have to manage your life energy, which is interesting. Deciding exactly how many times you can get hit and where you can afford to do it, stuff like that. It makes me pay more attention to how much damage enemies do, which is something I never thought too much about before since I mostly played without taking much damage to begin with. That being said, fuck Suzys.

I already have a list of games I wanna try speedrunning when I finish getting my first major personal goal in Mega Man (25:25, enough to be in the top half of the leaderboard). One is the original Duke Nukem (like, the platformer) because a couple of twitch friends of mine are running it and it seems fun. And then I want to do ZZT and Into the Gloom, because there are currently no categories for either of those so it's a free WR hahaha. But also because I'd like for there to be categories for those.

May as well make a speedrunning tag *shrug kaomoji that I'm too lazy to look up*

I probably have like 100 more things to talk about but can't think of right now. I'll try to post more here in the future.

oh, life things.

I got so caught up talking about games that I forgot I have a life outside of that. Me and Dens are moving in together. Well, I'm moving into his house with him. That sounds more accurate. Oct 31 or earlier. Crazy. I'm looking forward to it, though. I also have my disability hearing coming up Oct 22. Life is a stress.

ETA: I just looked at my recent entries and found a private one that was the beginning of a Jean/Cossack fic I was writing hahahahaha

Current Music: Opeth - Ghost of Perdition

It seems like lj's new TOS broke DW because too many people were rushing here at once or something hahaha.

I'm almost caught back up to where I realized I wasn't taking any screencaps at all in Laura's scenario lol.

I haven't played with Urpina in a couple of days, but I missed out on a bunch of the characters I was planning on having in my final team. I think I may have talked about this already...? So I'm just kinda picking the best from who I do happen to find, and I'm not going to "try" for any characters from here on out. There are just SO many options and so many missable things in this game, which is both good and bad, but I do have a nice team of 9 and am looking for a 'male' mage for the party now, as the only role I don't really have filled. Though I did look through the characters and it seems there's only one even left available, and getting him seems to require some pretty specific choices, so I MIGHT try for him when I get to that turning point, but I'm also not wanting to look at guides much, so...

Also Urpina has like a million endings or something X_X; Leo only had two and it was based solely on your decision just before the end. Urpina's different endings are impacted as early as finishing the little intro chapter of her story it seems.

But I'm really trying not to look at the guide too much lol. I just looked more when I couldn't find the characters in the locations they were supposed to be, and realized I missed out on a lot of stuff.

I might start writing the Laura scenario play diary later today. I have a looootttt to write because I pretty much am going to be done with the entire story except the last couple of adventures lol. I should probably upload the Urpina caps and start on those, too, because it will take forever...

I've been having a hankering to play SaGa 1 or SaGa 2 recently. I want to make play diaries of them eventually, but I don't want to start them right now, so maybe I'll just play through one of them for fun. I've cleared SaGa 1 a few times, but never SaGa 2, though I've gotten pretty far. Or maybe I should play SaGa 3 even though I ... really don't like it that much haha.

I might actually start the TokiMemo play diary this week, too. Especially since I'll probably get my book today. I'm kinda slowing down on the website because I've been feeling burned out and a friend and my therapist recommended I pace myself better and not put too much pressure on myself.

Also, I mentioned that I looked for a job the other day and my therapist was like shocked and seemed hesitant to accept that and was saying more stuff about how I have to do stuff at my own pace.

In one way I still feel kind of... weird/bad/tired about being treated like a "severe" case (IDK if I mentioned this but I was also instructed to take all sharp objects out of my room lololol) but at the same time it's a bit... reassuring/validating that... I'm not just lazy/stupid and I have serious problems that make it difficult for me to find and maintain jobs and complete tasks and maintain interpersonal relationships and stuff.

Oh, Joe was in town this week and we played Catan yesterday and it was fun but a little awkward, and I guess he and his wife got a divorce, but I didn't know, and I asked them if they were planning on having any kids (which I know is an obnoxious question, but we were already talking about kids/pregnancy so it was not like super random?) and then he was like "oh about that" and I felt terrible, but I guess it was a civil parting, they just realized marriage wasn't for them and are still friends and still work/live together? Er, they might not live together anymore, but I think they still work at the same school (idk lmao I don't ask about details on anything so I never know anything).

Anyway, yeah, that was weird, and we talked about Star Trek which is good and now I feel like watching Trek but I don't because I hate watching things and I'm playing like three SaGa games right now and feeling like starting another for fun and starting Tokimemo and like... lol. And I feel like drawing recently, too -- I want to be able to make a coloring book for dens for his birthday, which is over two months away, but making an entire book's worth of drawings could easily take two months or more, so I should get started on it. Probably I should dedicate at least one day a week to it, and I don't want to do it when he's around because I want the contents to be a surprise (though I could easily hide it from him when he's around anyway since it's not like he looks at my computer screen that much and his eyesight is very poor so he hardly can see anything on it anyway, and I can just zoom or minimize when he's near so he can't see what it is... actually I might be more motivated to work on it around him, so... maybe I'll start doing that...)

I was just playing Scarlet Grace and I like... ignored doing something in the game because I didn't want to do stuff out of order because it makes for bad play diary.

But I don't think I should be doing that... XD I mean, it's fine for games I've played tons of times before, but this is my first time playing the game and I want to just experience it how I experience it XD So I'll probably not do that in the future, play diary be damned. I've already written some messed up random entries because I was running all over the place in the game, so...

So much stuff has happened in this game. I feel like I've seen enough content to fill an entire game but I just keep discovering more and more stuff to do. This is the game they should have called "unlimited" hahaha.

Speaking of that game, though, Kurt's scenario is getting close to the end. I don't know if I'm going to keep going past the final story event and clear all the subadventures or whatever. I think I might just go to the end once I feel the party is good enough (I feel like they're pretty close anyway). But I should be able to finish it in a couple more play sessions. But probably longer, because I think I'm going to split the save file just before the final story progression event happens and go to the final boss from there, and then go back and go on and go to the final boss again... so I have to beat it twice lmao. But I want to show the difference in the story paths, because it's only the final adventure that is different.

Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment, with the psych. I am scared lol. I really shouldn't be, though. But you know, that's how it works. I don't know what they are going to want me to say and stuff. And I'm not good at saying stuff on my own. I'm not really good at answering questions in general. I guess this is a thing other people can do, but when people ask me "what do you think about..." or "how do you feel about..." I don't really understand what these questions mean. I don't know what kind of answer I'm supposed to be giving.

Like, it's not that I'm afraid to be honest or open it's that I literally can't understand the question. Like what does it mean to say what you "think about something" ?? I don't get it. I don't just have some kind of single thought about it? I mean, the amount of thoughts I could give it are theoretically infinite? What do you say? What kind of thought? Whenever I try to ask people though, they just get mad lol. It's even worse with how I "feel" because I usually feel nothing or it's just as endless and complex as how I "think" about it so...

But that's the kinds of things doctors ask you lmao.

I'm also afraid to like... bring up autism because my regular doctor like... dismissed it so quickly. It makes it intimidating. But the guy I'm seeing apparently works with autistic people, so... maybe he will be more understanding and helpful about it.

Also yesterday Dennis said he was worried he may have been coming down with a flu or something, because he had a headache and was feeling a bit nauseous. I said that I was feeling those things, too, but I figured it was just anxiety. He asked me why I was feeling anxious and I said "because I have an anxiety disorder." And after I said it I suddenly felt scared because I realized it was a thing that sounded sarcastic or smart-ass or whatever, even though it wasn't meant to be. It was just the answer to what I was asked. And I was really afraid he was going to get mad or whatever.

But he actually gave me a hug and asked what he could do. And I just kind of talked about it a little, even though talking doesn't really help, but more just to help him understand since he was willing to listen. And it was nice. Anxiety + relationship is surprisingly a difficult thing.

You would think that it would just be natural for people who love each other to just... accept these kinds of things and be helpful but. It's not so easy. It's hard for someone without a problem like this to really understand what it's like. And when people can't relate to stuff, they tend to feel like other people are wrong or making it up or something. Plus having anxiety all the time and being unable to do basic things like get out of bed or go to the grocery or have a conversation is really taxing on the other person. It messes with their day. It is frustrating and confusing. And that wears on people over time. It's easy for them to get frustrated, bottle it up for a while until they're really upset about it. They start holding it against you, thinking that you're being selfish.

It's not just Dennis -- this is how everyone reacts lol. I can't tell you how many times I've been told I was selfish or asked why I can't think of others because I was mentally incapable of doing something, beyond my control. And I already felt bad that I was letting other people down or inconveniencing others or whatever and having them blame me to my face only makes that worse.

But that is kind of just my life lolol.

Uh the main reason I said that though is because I really appreciate Dennis a lot because he really does try hard. And there have been times that he has made mistakes or gotten frustrated or I didn't communicate myself properly and I was upset with him about these things, and I tend to rant about that a lot, but I don't talk as much about how much I can really tell he tries a lot and really wants to be supportive.

Anyway I wrote myself an email called "why you are broken" lol. So I can look at it in the appointment and have things to say.

I guess I will write about it here in more detail, mostly to organize my thoughts, but if you want to know what my struggles are like, I guess you can read it XD

I'm not going to cover everything that was in the email, like I just made a list of physical symptoms like headache and stuff, but I don't think that's really something I need to work out thoughts on. I know what headache is.

( Read more... )

I always make fun of Dennis for thinking stuff like lobsters and shrimp are fish, and that fish are not animals (and therefore lobsters are not animals)... like I often ask him if he thinks something is an animal or not because I think it's bizarre how he categorizes things...

Like, it started originally because I said something about bugs being animals, IDK why, and he was like "WTF bugs are not animals??" and I was like.... "Um... do you think they are like plants or fungi or something...?" and he's like "No they're bugs!!!" and like idk then we talked about this and I learned he thinks birds and fish are not animals but are their own category of living things that are NOT a part of animal category???????? And I was just like wtf wtf wtf and then like... I guess he thinks like... lobsters and crabs and stuff are fish??????????????????????? And like if it lives in water it's a fish no matter what it is LOL and like turtles are kind-of fish or something, it's like half-fish half-animal LOL and stuff like that but yeah

Anyway, I was watching "What's My Line?" which is like this 1950s game show where people would come on and a panel of celebrity guests would try to guess the person's occupation by asking yes/no questions about it. And this lady sold lobsters... and they were asking questions like "Is it an animal, bird, or fish?" and stuff?!?!?!?!!? Like as if those were different things??? And like... when they asked if it was a fish, she said yes and no one thought this was strange?????????????????

LIKE SO I GUESS I KINDA FEEL BAD FOR MAKING FUN OF HIM OVER THIS BECAUSE HE WAS JUST RAISED TO THINK THAT LOBSTERS ARE FISH AND FISH AND BIRDS ARE NOT ANIMALS. I just thought he was weird but I guess people used to really categorize animals this way??????????????????????????

But yeah the only reason I was even watching this was because I talked about Peter, Paul & Mary and then wanted to see stuff of them because I have a crush on all three of them LOLOL

( pictures lol )

ANYWAY I had more things I wanted to say but I forgot.

Oh yeah I ate like a baby squid today... full-body, eyes and all. The eyes were like really firm and chewy like a really dry, stale raisin??? But it was mushy too because it was wet and slimy because it's a squid.

Anyway, I meant to go to sleep like 3 hours ago or w/e after I finished posting that last Innocent Life post but I've been doing who knows what (uh, watching stupid old show where people think bird is not animal and lobster is fish LOL I actually watched it twice X_X) but yeah, I sleep now.

Current Mood: tired

Like I said last night, I'll post about FF9 today XD But first, today is our anniversary. We went to the mackerel place hahaha. They also had flounder. It's a buffet so it's all-you-can-eat. I ate so much... I had 3... pieces... of flounder (idk what to call them, it was like just a big cut of the fish down the middle?) and like at least 15 pieces of mackerel sushi. I had a few other things but eating the raw flesh of a dead fish is the best lmfaoooo. Well, only really mackerel. I mean other raw fish is good but mackerel is just so amazing XD Then we came back to Dennis's and he gave me a box of Cheez-It as present and I gave him nothing. Now he's sitting with heat pad because he is in pain. And now I'm on the computer. And that's about that.

So I'm gonna go through FF9 and try to remember the stuff I wanted to talk about while posting my screenies :P

There are early-game spoilers ahead. I'm mostly going to keep to opinions of the game/characters/etc. and not really try to detail the story too much, so I think if you haven't played it, it won't really give too much away. But still some stuff will be revealed anyway, and you'll see random screens from the game (though without too much context, as I'll just assume the reader either knows what it is already or doesn't want to know the spoilery details XD)

( lots of pics ahead )

So yeah, that's about it lol. I had some other things to say but I forgot oops. I have way more screencaps on Steam (and way way more in the local files) so you can check them out there I guess if you wanna see more. I like to kinda take them and make little comments as I go.

Current Mood: tired

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marchionessofmustache

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WARMTH LIKE HOME UNAWARES

you'll be paralyzed with astonishment, hehe

Entries tagged with life: dennis

Clock Tower VS Girl's Side

Stage 4 Cancer

Dream, Academia, Gamedev

Dens

Update on Dens

ROCKMANX5 Stage Order

I feel weird not putting anything in the subject box

a post!

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Profile

June 2025

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