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frustration
Apr. 12th, 2019 10:30 amSOOOO here's a story.
I've been streaming for a few years now I think? And in general I have not had many problems, until recently.
There's a user who frequented my stream and streamed himself, and I would go to his stream a lot. Sounds neat like friendship ya???
Well, this guy got increasingly weird over time. He got weirdly possessive about me as a friend, getting angry when I'd give even a modicum of attention to anyone other than him. He started to demand special attention, guilt tripping me for not coming to his streams (even when I told him it's because I was avoiding spoilers and stuff), asking me to add him on facebook (O_o) and constantly demanding I read aloud and respond to every single line of text he posted in the chat, not giving up until I would.
But that's not even the worst part. He actively picked fights with other users and would bring personal drama into the chat. I warned him about this multiple times, even sitting down and having a private talk with him in PMs about how if he has a problem with someone, he needs to settle it personally with them outside, and not start fights or drama in the middle of my streams in my chat.
Also, he made misogynist comments several times. Most of them were in his own stream, but when he did in my stream, I asked him not to, and of course he made a huge deal about it.
Anyway, I had about 4 or 5 people tell me that this particular user made them very uncomfortable and they didn't want to come to my stream anymore because they didn't want to run into him. Actually it may have even been more than 5 people. Either way, this was really getting stressful for me.
I had started getting problems with trolls and stuff in my chat, so I wanted to have actual mods in my chat. Before, I just modded every single person who visited because it was funny. So I decided to cut down on the mods, leaving X and my brother, and two people I trusted to be the most level-headed people in the stream.
Obviously someone who breaks the rules and causes lots of drama is not someone who can be trusted to be a mod.
And as you can probably guess, when this dude came in the next time after I had modified the mod powers, he was upset that he wasn't a mod, and started going on about how I give special attention to everyone else (despite the fact that I went out of my way to give him more special attention than anyone because he was constantly demanding it and guilt-tripping me about it) and saying stuff like "if this is how you really feel, then goodbye!" and crap like that. Basically a lot more dramaticism and guilt-tripping, taking up huge chunks of chat.
So I figure if he's going to say "then goodbye," then, well, goodbye. So I banned him. This was like the 4th time that he had caused drama and brought up personal grief in the chat instead of settling it outside like I continually asked him to do, and in addition to misogyny, was countless times of breaking the rules. But of course, this whole time I had been giving him special attention and forgiveness because we were friends and he demanded such attention and forgiveness.
But finally enough was enough and he was banned. A lot of people started coming back to the stream and the chat got a lot more lively and peaceful now that people were not afraid to talk or just weren't being driven away to avoid this guy. So it was nice. I felt bad because it's always sad to cut out a friend from your life even if they are a toxic person, but there were a lot of good things to come out of it.
So you'd think that would be the end of it, but no. Because we were in the same circle of friends, I ran into him a lot of other places. And he was doing more toxic shit. He refused to be civil and even say hello, and he would actively respond to things I was saying but tag other people, as if in real life to respond to me but while facing someone else to purposely show off that he wasn't talking to me. This was just a mild annoyance, though, and actually kinda funny because of how stupidly petty it was.
Then he started "not naming names" but shit-talking me and trying to get pity for the ~terrible thing~ that happened to him. Of course his version of the story was that simply because he voiced some 'grievances' (I guess the "you don't give me enough attention so GOODBYE" was him voicing grievances, even though he literally said goodbye in it lmfao) he got demodded and banned. Even though he had been demodded before that even happened and I had already explained to him that I cut down the mods to just 4 people instead of, you know, like 40. And I don't know how dramatic guilt-tripping is "expressing a grievance," but even if he honestly thought he was expressing grievances, it was still a personal matter that should have been handled outside of the chat, and I had had enough of him breaking rules...
Well, I already went into that. The point is he's going around telling people that he simply expressed some grievances and then in my wild rage I took away his mod powers and banned him. And he's going around gathering sympathy from everyone, though being extremely pushy about it, to the point where one streamer I was watching had to stop what she was doing on stream to type out something personally to him I'm assuming asking him to stop. Because she said multiple times that she didn't want to go into his personal business but he just kept bringing it up. Totally not toxic, right??
Oh, and he would do this even more when I was around, I'm assuming trying to bait me into a fight or just do further guilt-tripping. Of course, at this point, this dude is so toxic and fucked up that I don't have even the tiniest bit of sympathy for him. He seems to be enjoying the whole thing in some perverse way. And all the guilt I had over the matter is gone; I'm glad not to be friends with someone so toxic and manipulative.
The problem now is that this is driving me away from other friends and streams I like to watch. He makes me super uncomfortable because he's constantly whining about the "terrible incident" and doing the stupid shit like not saying hi and then responding to me but tagging other people as if he's not talking to me. And there's not anything I can really do about it, because I'm not about to bring outside drama into other people's streams and chats. So I have no choice but to go away.
It's really frustrating because someone with such annoying and toxic behaviors basically "wins" in this situation. They want to force me away from my friends and from being able to enjoy streams I like, and they succeeded.
Though what's bothersome about the whole thing is that I honestly think this dude believes himself. I think this guy really, truthfully feels that he did nothing wrong, that guilt-tripping and manipulating people is just normal stuff you do and that all along he was just 'expressing grievances' or whatever dumb stuff he wants to call it. I think he really does believe that he got banned out of me just deciding to ban someone who should have been my friend just for funsies because he 'expressed a grievance' one time.
And it makes me sick to think that there are people in this world that are so self-absorbed that they can actually think like this. It's so frustrating. I've been losing sleep over the whole thing and I wish people just knew how to be decent, understanding people. But instead we have toxic creeps like this guy who ruin other people's happiness for their own vanity, and honestly believe they are victims. It's just so disgusting and frustrating.
So maybe ranting here will help me feel better lol. I half want to send this to him just because I really believe that he's so self-absorbed that he honestly honestly does not realize how toxic and manipulative he is. But also I know that people like that would not listen no matter how much evidence was presented to them, and wouldn't have the empathy to just stop their toxic behaviors even if they didn't agree. Which again... FRUSTRATING.
In other news, my site got hacked again and I really need to go in and update my passwords and scripts and stuff. I know my scripts are all kinds of fucked up since I started programming this site as a noob, and I know a lot better now. And then I'm using some crappy old password that really needs updating.
I've been streaming for a few years now I think? And in general I have not had many problems, until recently.
There's a user who frequented my stream and streamed himself, and I would go to his stream a lot. Sounds neat like friendship ya???
Well, this guy got increasingly weird over time. He got weirdly possessive about me as a friend, getting angry when I'd give even a modicum of attention to anyone other than him. He started to demand special attention, guilt tripping me for not coming to his streams (even when I told him it's because I was avoiding spoilers and stuff), asking me to add him on facebook (O_o) and constantly demanding I read aloud and respond to every single line of text he posted in the chat, not giving up until I would.
But that's not even the worst part. He actively picked fights with other users and would bring personal drama into the chat. I warned him about this multiple times, even sitting down and having a private talk with him in PMs about how if he has a problem with someone, he needs to settle it personally with them outside, and not start fights or drama in the middle of my streams in my chat.
Also, he made misogynist comments several times. Most of them were in his own stream, but when he did in my stream, I asked him not to, and of course he made a huge deal about it.
Anyway, I had about 4 or 5 people tell me that this particular user made them very uncomfortable and they didn't want to come to my stream anymore because they didn't want to run into him. Actually it may have even been more than 5 people. Either way, this was really getting stressful for me.
I had started getting problems with trolls and stuff in my chat, so I wanted to have actual mods in my chat. Before, I just modded every single person who visited because it was funny. So I decided to cut down on the mods, leaving X and my brother, and two people I trusted to be the most level-headed people in the stream.
Obviously someone who breaks the rules and causes lots of drama is not someone who can be trusted to be a mod.
And as you can probably guess, when this dude came in the next time after I had modified the mod powers, he was upset that he wasn't a mod, and started going on about how I give special attention to everyone else (despite the fact that I went out of my way to give him more special attention than anyone because he was constantly demanding it and guilt-tripping me about it) and saying stuff like "if this is how you really feel, then goodbye!" and crap like that. Basically a lot more dramaticism and guilt-tripping, taking up huge chunks of chat.
So I figure if he's going to say "then goodbye," then, well, goodbye. So I banned him. This was like the 4th time that he had caused drama and brought up personal grief in the chat instead of settling it outside like I continually asked him to do, and in addition to misogyny, was countless times of breaking the rules. But of course, this whole time I had been giving him special attention and forgiveness because we were friends and he demanded such attention and forgiveness.
But finally enough was enough and he was banned. A lot of people started coming back to the stream and the chat got a lot more lively and peaceful now that people were not afraid to talk or just weren't being driven away to avoid this guy. So it was nice. I felt bad because it's always sad to cut out a friend from your life even if they are a toxic person, but there were a lot of good things to come out of it.
So you'd think that would be the end of it, but no. Because we were in the same circle of friends, I ran into him a lot of other places. And he was doing more toxic shit. He refused to be civil and even say hello, and he would actively respond to things I was saying but tag other people, as if in real life to respond to me but while facing someone else to purposely show off that he wasn't talking to me. This was just a mild annoyance, though, and actually kinda funny because of how stupidly petty it was.
Then he started "not naming names" but shit-talking me and trying to get pity for the ~terrible thing~ that happened to him. Of course his version of the story was that simply because he voiced some 'grievances' (I guess the "you don't give me enough attention so GOODBYE" was him voicing grievances, even though he literally said goodbye in it lmfao) he got demodded and banned. Even though he had been demodded before that even happened and I had already explained to him that I cut down the mods to just 4 people instead of, you know, like 40. And I don't know how dramatic guilt-tripping is "expressing a grievance," but even if he honestly thought he was expressing grievances, it was still a personal matter that should have been handled outside of the chat, and I had had enough of him breaking rules...
Well, I already went into that. The point is he's going around telling people that he simply expressed some grievances and then in my wild rage I took away his mod powers and banned him. And he's going around gathering sympathy from everyone, though being extremely pushy about it, to the point where one streamer I was watching had to stop what she was doing on stream to type out something personally to him I'm assuming asking him to stop. Because she said multiple times that she didn't want to go into his personal business but he just kept bringing it up. Totally not toxic, right??
Oh, and he would do this even more when I was around, I'm assuming trying to bait me into a fight or just do further guilt-tripping. Of course, at this point, this dude is so toxic and fucked up that I don't have even the tiniest bit of sympathy for him. He seems to be enjoying the whole thing in some perverse way. And all the guilt I had over the matter is gone; I'm glad not to be friends with someone so toxic and manipulative.
The problem now is that this is driving me away from other friends and streams I like to watch. He makes me super uncomfortable because he's constantly whining about the "terrible incident" and doing the stupid shit like not saying hi and then responding to me but tagging other people as if he's not talking to me. And there's not anything I can really do about it, because I'm not about to bring outside drama into other people's streams and chats. So I have no choice but to go away.
It's really frustrating because someone with such annoying and toxic behaviors basically "wins" in this situation. They want to force me away from my friends and from being able to enjoy streams I like, and they succeeded.
Though what's bothersome about the whole thing is that I honestly think this dude believes himself. I think this guy really, truthfully feels that he did nothing wrong, that guilt-tripping and manipulating people is just normal stuff you do and that all along he was just 'expressing grievances' or whatever dumb stuff he wants to call it. I think he really does believe that he got banned out of me just deciding to ban someone who should have been my friend just for funsies because he 'expressed a grievance' one time.
And it makes me sick to think that there are people in this world that are so self-absorbed that they can actually think like this. It's so frustrating. I've been losing sleep over the whole thing and I wish people just knew how to be decent, understanding people. But instead we have toxic creeps like this guy who ruin other people's happiness for their own vanity, and honestly believe they are victims. It's just so disgusting and frustrating.
So maybe ranting here will help me feel better lol. I half want to send this to him just because I really believe that he's so self-absorbed that he honestly honestly does not realize how toxic and manipulative he is. But also I know that people like that would not listen no matter how much evidence was presented to them, and wouldn't have the empathy to just stop their toxic behaviors even if they didn't agree. Which again... FRUSTRATING.
In other news, my site got hacked again and I really need to go in and update my passwords and scripts and stuff. I know my scripts are all kinds of fucked up since I started programming this site as a noob, and I know a lot better now. And then I'm using some crappy old password that really needs updating.
