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Sep. 8th, 2016 11:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marchionessofmustacheI stole this from Tumblr. You know I'm really back into lj when I'm doing those stupid survey things LOL. Feel free to ignore; I just have fun filling them out even if no one reads it.
1) Sexuality? Yes
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Morning Musume!! If I had to pick just one member, I think I'd want to meet Sayumi, because I think she'd be the most fun to talk to? I'd just want to be able to ask her about her experiences but also just listen to whatever she wanted to say, and just hang out with her and maybe go to a café or something XD Basically I just want to go on a date with Sayu really LOL
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Oh, holy crap. It's like always the same book but I actually cleaned up that little shelf and put the book away. appeared, is that it? <-- that's it LOL
4) What do you think about most? Uhhh killing myself? Anxiety?
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? Oh, I have a new one. Well, IDK, it feels kinda private, but basically it says good morning. More like I just feel weird copying someone else's message when it was intended for only me, even if it doesn't say anything weird?
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Either. At home I usually sleep in clothes but I'm not allowed at Dennis's so I don't there, but if it gets hot enough or whatever I'll sleep naked on my own too XD I usually at least wear some kind of pants or underwear though.
7) What's your strangest talent? I... don't know? I don't think I have any strange talents lol.
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence) we run this motha / against girls (ummmmm these aren't sentences but that's what I thought of first LOL I've never actually even heard the Girls song LOLLL)
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Yeah, my brother wrote a song about me once XD
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? Probably while listening to Magnolia Facotry hahaha XD
11) Do you have any strange phobias? It depends on how you define strange. The only one I'd consider a true phobia is a fear of the telephone.
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Sure XD I mean tissues count right? I'm sure I've put other things up there too.
13) What's your religion? Eh
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Um... Both, I guess, idk.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? My favorite literal band is Presidents, and my favorite just... performing act related to music is ANGERME. For right now at least. Of all time it's Morning.
17) What was the last lie you told? I'm ok.
18) Do you believe in karma? This is a really complicated question because there are so many different definitions of karma -- I don't believe in karma in the sense that when you do things, then things happen back to you as punishment or reward for your actions, but this is a misconception of karma anyway. Karma more refers to the idea that your actions are like seeds, and your life is the garden where you are planting them. The more you engage in positive thoughts and behaviors, the more you will have positive experiences and encounters, and the same true for negativity. And that I do believe it. Though like any garden, there are weeds that will appear outside of your control -- not everything is determined by karma.
19) What does your URL mean? It's just my IRL name, though since it says 'URL' it sounds tumblry -- my tumblr URL is MarchionessOfMustache, which means... exactly that? I just really like the title "Marchioness" (and "Marquis") under the sole reasoning of "it sounds cool."
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is uh... I guess my disability LMFAO and my greatest strength is um... I think it's kinda dumb to try to define stuff like that really.
21) Who is your celebrity crush? Naoki Kobayashi, Robert Downey Jr, Scott Bakula, Robert Maillet. Those are my favs XD I think I have a thing for people who look intimidating but are really sweethearts. Well, Scott and RDJ don't look too intimidating XD
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I don't think so.
23) How do you vent your anger? Have anxiety attacks, attempt suicide, get in internet fights...
24) Do you have a collection of anything? Not so much anymore. I have a collection of pictures on my computer but that's about it XDD
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? NEITHER OMFG WTF. How about like normal chatting online...? Actually just responding through things that aren't time-sensitive like comments and journals is good LOL
26) Are you happy with the person you've become? Not anymore lolol
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? All sounds. Silence. lol. Um, but I guess more seriously (though I do hate most sound), OH DEFINITELY THE SOUND OF STYROFOAM IN ANY WAY, it literally makes me cry and writhe in pain, like... I'm not exaggerating. And love sound is... oboe <3
28) What's your biggest "what if"? What???? What does this even mean? I don't know.
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? No, and sure.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. TV, coffee mug.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell? paint lol X_X
32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? Earth. If I have to pick a place on Earth then USA. lolol. Otherwise idk, everywhere is pretty equally bad.
33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? Ummmmmm IDK I'm from the Midwest so those things are like foreign to me mostly LOL. I guess west coast because my friend Nans is from there???????????? And it's closer to Asia so there's more East Asian influence which I like those things lolol
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? I don't have an 'opposite gender' and I don't know any singers really ???? I'm sure I have better answers that I can't think of right now, but to move on, I'll just say Anthony Kiedis and Risa Yamaki.
35) To you, what is the meaning of life? Suffering
36) Define Art. Basically anything created for any kind of reaction from someone else, or as a means of self-expression. Art is everywhere.
37) Do you believe in luck? No lol.
38) What's the weather like right now? Kinda cloudy. Very hot.
39) What time is it? 10:56
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I have a driver's license but I don't drive. I've never crashed but I've come close a few times.
41) What was the last book you read? Ummmmmmmmmm I have no idea. It's been so long since I really read a book. The last book I started (but didn't finish) was The Makioka Sisters (though I've read it in full before). I really want to re-read Howards End as it's my faaaavorite.
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yeah, sometimes.
43) Do you have any nicknames? Yeah, most of my existing nicknames are based on internet monikers anymore though...
44) What was the last movie you saw? I have no idea lol. Oh, probably Star Trek IV hahaha.
45) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I don't know. I really don't like... think about stuff like this? Like experiences come and go and I never really think like "Oh, this was the best/worst whatever," I just keep going. And then when I have to think back I can never really remember properly lol so I always have problems answering these questions. It's not that I forget what happened, it's that when I'm specifically trying to remember "bad injuries" I don't think of anything, so I'd have to sit and like... recount my entire life from the beginning and try to remember every event until I got to injuries and then try to remember each one and then try to rank them... it's just too much LOL. Once I had a concussion??????
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? I don't know if I've ever tried to catch one.
47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Does anxiety count??? I'm at any given moment obsessed with one or all of these five things: Mega Man, SaGa, Tokimeki Memorial, Ys, Harvest Moon... XD
48) What's your sexual orientation? Unique, though for a simple answer I like to just say 'pansexual.' Most people define their orientation based on gender, but my attraction is not based on gender, but rather features. I guess a lot of pan people feel the same, but even still the word carries a meaning of the attraction being to 'any gender' or 'all genders' or something but... it really has nothing to do with gender?
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Probably.
50) Do you believe in magic? Yeah, but like karma this is something with a lot of definitions. Magic is a lot more complicated, though, so I'm not going to go into it here. I could write a series of books on this (actually, I've thought of doing that before XD)
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I'm not sure I even know what this means anymore. I don't continue feeling angry or irrationally dislike someone over things people have done, and I forgive people, but it doesn't mean the thing they did never happened. And of course, I'm going to make decisions in the future based on that? So like, if someone repeatedly betrays my trust, I will not trust them with something in the future, and if they ask me why, I will cite examples. But then people say I'm holding a grudge but I feel like that means all people hold grudges, because of course our experiences are going to influence our perceptions and decisions...?????
52) What is your astrological sign? Scorpio, Ox
53) Do you save money or spend it? Both. Questions like this are weird because you can't just save money. I mean, you could, I guess, but?????????????
54) What's the last thing you purchased? Um. Groceries. I don't remember exactly what but I don't really buy anything else.
55) Love or lust? What is this even asking? Um, lust?????????????
56) In a relationship? Yeah
57) How many relationships have you had? Several.
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No o_O
59) Where were you yesterday? Here. In the apartment. I never leave, except to go to Dennis's, and then I never leave there LOL
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Probably. I have a lot of pink things. Oh, yeah, of course! My pink PS2! It's always right next to me <3 And my Surface cover is pink, too, and it's in my bag (which is also right next to me always). Along with a pink folder that I use for notes on my game dev, which I haven't done in a while...
61) Are you wearing socks right now? Nope.
62) What's your favorite animal? Cockroaches <3 Of all kinds. I love all animals though (*hugs animals*)
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? ..........................
64) Where is your best friend? Right now, probably at work?? XD![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dreamingmystic where are you XD
65) Spit or swallow?(; I swallow, but honestly I hate cum in my mouth either way. I think it'd actually be worse to spit. It goes away faster swallowing and with spitting you'd probably get it all over your face and it'd be like nasty and spitty and gross.
66) What is your heritage? Nah. Various white people, though I also am part native. Though it was important to me as a child and I would visit my native family and go to native events and stuff, I'm so detached from it anymore that I don't feel comfortable really claiming it as part of my heritage. I'm pretty much like any other white person.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping. I actually went to bed that early! Well, I was probably writhing in misery on the floor, but it was an attempt to sleep. I actually vomited in my mouth in the middle of the night and woke myself up. I'm guessing it's from anxiety because I ate pretty normally last night. Though I did have Shin Ramyun Black so many all the chili upset my stomach but... honestly I feel like I eat chilis almost every day in some form so I can't imagine it was that??
68) What do you think is Satan's last name? ... What?
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? ... wtf kind of question is this? XD "Have you ever eaten food? BE HONEST!" I mean I guess there are people out there who have never masturbated even once but this but I would say this is an experience that such a vast majority of people have had that to ask it is very strange lmao. I mean most people experiment with masturbation and experience orgasm even from early childhood/toddler age, so...
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Uh. Yes, because I'd totally ignore myself and we'd go like years without talking until finally I had something to say and I would not make any kind of deal, even the smallest, about how long it has been and just respond and then go back to not talking again. Also we'd pretty much communicate completely through LJ comments and both be on LJ all the time XDD
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Have an anxiety attack and drown myself too lol. Just reading this gave me anxiety lol. Though I lose every job anyway so I'd rescue the dog, to give a "real" answer, I guess.
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? This is such an extreme thing that I think it's impossible to really know how I'd react lol. I'd probably not tell anyone and just wander off and spend my remaining days "adventuring" on foot. But I think whenever people imagine these scenarios, we imagine we'd be in perfect health and then just FALL OVER at the expiration date lmfao. Maybe I'd just buy a bunch of Steam games and play them, I don't know. To be honest, I'd probably have anxiety the whole time, so it'd be better to just euthanize me once they realized. Actually can we just do that now? I mean I'm gonna die eventually so it's pretty much the same scenario. OH AND YES I'D BE AFRAID LOL
73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Trust.
74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Uhhh. I don't think there is anything that can consistently make me happy lololol.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 6999. I intentionally picked them, because they had already had it start with 6 and I wanted to ask for 6969 but I was kind of embarrassed so I asked for 6999.
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? That's... way to complicated. Not just communication, but valuing that communication. But what exactly I mean by that is... too much.
77) How can I win your heart? Have a mustache and don't talk to me.
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? wtf is "insanity"?
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Ha. Um. Yeah IDK. Going to OSU I guess.
80) What size shoes do you wear? IDK, like 10? I haven't gotten new shoes in like 15 years.
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Rather please PLEASE do not give me a tombstone or do any other superficial wasteful stuff because I'm dead. I mean I'm not super worried since no one cares about me enough to bother with that but I'm also worried because I feel like people would do it because that's "what you're supposed to do" and no one cares enough to respect that I don't want them to do it.
82) What is your favorite word? I don't have a favorite word; I love all words XD
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Uhhhh IDK I just thought of heart. Like the organ. I am really bad at word association lol.
84) What is a saying you say a lot? "I don't know." "I hate this game." LOL. I try to avoid 'sayings' and stuff though? Well, I don't try to avoid them per se, but I just don't really like the way they sound and so naturally avoid them.
85) What's the last song you listened to? IDK, I was listening to chiptunes mixes last night so it could have been anything.
86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? brown, yellow, pink
87) What is your current desktop picture? I shared it here not long ago XD Naoki~~~
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Myself. Actually, if such a thing existed, I would definitely be dead right now. Despite the fact that my anxiety makes me want to kill myself, it also prevents me from killing myself because the idea of living and just being hurt/injured (and having to deal with people afterward) is really terrifying.
89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? Well, depending on who I was telling it to... there'd be a lot of things. Honestly I lie about most things because almost everything I think/feel is "not acceptable."
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Uh freak out????????????????????????????????? I guess once I realized they weren't doing anything I'd try to ask them what they were doing??? Then I guess it'd go from there. Too bad it's not zombies though.
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Mind control. Ethics be damned. Though I'd mostly just use it to make people leave me alone. I feel like it would get too difficult and complicated if you used it to do big things. I'd mostly just have people leave me alone... then I could be productive and do anything else I wanted. Honestly interacting with people I feel like is the main thing that holds me back in life, so without that, I'd be almost limitless.
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Only a half an hour? IDK, that's so throw-away that I don't even care. I'd pick one of the early moments with Dennis, I guess, when he was very physically affectionate and we were both kind of overwhelmed with the whole 'new love' thing. But then I'd probably feel sad and longing for a while afterward so maybe not. Maybe just relive a moment of a fun gaming session or something. Or a moment from my childhood when I was care-free.
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I say the whole thing? Honestly I don't want to erase anything though because I don't feel like any of it affects me now, but I wouldn't be the same without those experiences. But I don't have like PTSD or anything so there's not really anything that affects me in such a way I'd need to get rid of it.
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Why is it always music ? XD I'd be too self-conscious and embarrassed honestly that I wouldn't enjoy it. But if somehow that wasn't a factor... I don't even know. Despite having immense crushes on people like Naoki I never really think about them sexually? I don't really have sexual fantasies that involve myself, though -- I always imagine people with other people, and even then, most of my fantasies involve not-real people (I think I tried to fantasize about Naoki like once and it didn't work LOL). I guess going off that I'd say Sayumi Michishige but even then that seems weird. I'd rather be granted like a sex tape of a person of my choice instead of having to sleep with them XD (In that case, I'd still not know who to pick LOL)
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Uh, Japan was my first thought. It'd probably be my only opportunity to ever go XD
96) Do you have any relatives in jail? Probably. At least one of my uncles is in jail at any given time.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yeah, I get carsick pretty easily. Any kind of motion sickness really. Just thinking about it is making me feel carsick and I'm just sitting at a desk. I get sick from like porch swings.
98) Ever been on a plane? Yeah, and I puked there, too!! Actually I've been on planes many times and I think I puke every single time LOL or at least feel like I'm going to the entire time and then don't and feel horrible for a while after too.
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? THIS QUESTION GAVE ME A LOT OF ANXIETY LOL. Um, I don't have anything to the whole world. It's not like anyone would listen? I'd just say "leave me alone" I guess XD
1) Sexuality? Yes
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Morning Musume!! If I had to pick just one member, I think I'd want to meet Sayumi, because I think she'd be the most fun to talk to? I'd just want to be able to ask her about her experiences but also just listen to whatever she wanted to say, and just hang out with her and maybe go to a café or something XD Basically I just want to go on a date with Sayu really LOL
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. Oh, holy crap. It's like always the same book but I actually cleaned up that little shelf and put the book away. appeared, is that it? <-- that's it LOL
4) What do you think about most? Uhhh killing myself? Anxiety?
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? Oh, I have a new one. Well, IDK, it feels kinda private, but basically it says good morning. More like I just feel weird copying someone else's message when it was intended for only me, even if it doesn't say anything weird?
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? Either. At home I usually sleep in clothes but I'm not allowed at Dennis's so I don't there, but if it gets hot enough or whatever I'll sleep naked on my own too XD I usually at least wear some kind of pants or underwear though.
7) What's your strangest talent? I... don't know? I don't think I have any strange talents lol.
8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence) we run this motha / against girls (ummmmm these aren't sentences but that's what I thought of first LOL I've never actually even heard the Girls song LOLLL)
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? Yeah, my brother wrote a song about me once XD
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? Probably while listening to Magnolia Facotry hahaha XD
11) Do you have any strange phobias? It depends on how you define strange. The only one I'd consider a true phobia is a fear of the telephone.
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Sure XD I mean tissues count right? I'm sure I've put other things up there too.
13) What's your religion? Eh
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Walking
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Um... Both, I guess, idk.
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? My favorite literal band is Presidents, and my favorite just... performing act related to music is ANGERME. For right now at least. Of all time it's Morning.
17) What was the last lie you told? I'm ok.
18) Do you believe in karma? This is a really complicated question because there are so many different definitions of karma -- I don't believe in karma in the sense that when you do things, then things happen back to you as punishment or reward for your actions, but this is a misconception of karma anyway. Karma more refers to the idea that your actions are like seeds, and your life is the garden where you are planting them. The more you engage in positive thoughts and behaviors, the more you will have positive experiences and encounters, and the same true for negativity. And that I do believe it. Though like any garden, there are weeds that will appear outside of your control -- not everything is determined by karma.
19) What does your URL mean? It's just my IRL name, though since it says 'URL' it sounds tumblry -- my tumblr URL is MarchionessOfMustache, which means... exactly that? I just really like the title "Marchioness" (and "Marquis") under the sole reasoning of "it sounds cool."
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness is uh... I guess my disability LMFAO and my greatest strength is um... I think it's kinda dumb to try to define stuff like that really.
21) Who is your celebrity crush? Naoki Kobayashi, Robert Downey Jr, Scott Bakula, Robert Maillet. Those are my favs XD I think I have a thing for people who look intimidating but are really sweethearts. Well, Scott and RDJ don't look too intimidating XD
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? I don't think so.
23) How do you vent your anger? Have anxiety attacks, attempt suicide, get in internet fights...
24) Do you have a collection of anything? Not so much anymore. I have a collection of pictures on my computer but that's about it XDD
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? NEITHER OMFG WTF. How about like normal chatting online...? Actually just responding through things that aren't time-sensitive like comments and journals is good LOL
26) Are you happy with the person you've become? Not anymore lolol
27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? All sounds. Silence. lol. Um, but I guess more seriously (though I do hate most sound), OH DEFINITELY THE SOUND OF STYROFOAM IN ANY WAY, it literally makes me cry and writhe in pain, like... I'm not exaggerating. And love sound is... oboe <3
28) What's your biggest "what if"? What???? What does this even mean? I don't know.
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? No, and sure.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. TV, coffee mug.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell? paint lol X_X
32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? Earth. If I have to pick a place on Earth then USA. lolol. Otherwise idk, everywhere is pretty equally bad.
33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? Ummmmmm IDK I'm from the Midwest so those things are like foreign to me mostly LOL. I guess west coast because my friend Nans is from there???????????? And it's closer to Asia so there's more East Asian influence which I like those things lolol
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? I don't have an 'opposite gender' and I don't know any singers really ???? I'm sure I have better answers that I can't think of right now, but to move on, I'll just say Anthony Kiedis and Risa Yamaki.
35) To you, what is the meaning of life? Suffering
36) Define Art. Basically anything created for any kind of reaction from someone else, or as a means of self-expression. Art is everywhere.
37) Do you believe in luck? No lol.
38) What's the weather like right now? Kinda cloudy. Very hot.
39) What time is it? 10:56
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I have a driver's license but I don't drive. I've never crashed but I've come close a few times.
41) What was the last book you read? Ummmmmmmmmm I have no idea. It's been so long since I really read a book. The last book I started (but didn't finish) was The Makioka Sisters (though I've read it in full before). I really want to re-read Howards End as it's my faaaavorite.
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yeah, sometimes.
43) Do you have any nicknames? Yeah, most of my existing nicknames are based on internet monikers anymore though...
44) What was the last movie you saw? I have no idea lol. Oh, probably Star Trek IV hahaha.
45) What's the worst injury you've ever had? I don't know. I really don't like... think about stuff like this? Like experiences come and go and I never really think like "Oh, this was the best/worst whatever," I just keep going. And then when I have to think back I can never really remember properly lol so I always have problems answering these questions. It's not that I forget what happened, it's that when I'm specifically trying to remember "bad injuries" I don't think of anything, so I'd have to sit and like... recount my entire life from the beginning and try to remember every event until I got to injuries and then try to remember each one and then try to rank them... it's just too much LOL. Once I had a concussion??????
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? I don't know if I've ever tried to catch one.
47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Does anxiety count??? I'm at any given moment obsessed with one or all of these five things: Mega Man, SaGa, Tokimeki Memorial, Ys, Harvest Moon... XD
48) What's your sexual orientation? Unique, though for a simple answer I like to just say 'pansexual.' Most people define their orientation based on gender, but my attraction is not based on gender, but rather features. I guess a lot of pan people feel the same, but even still the word carries a meaning of the attraction being to 'any gender' or 'all genders' or something but... it really has nothing to do with gender?
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Probably.
50) Do you believe in magic? Yeah, but like karma this is something with a lot of definitions. Magic is a lot more complicated, though, so I'm not going to go into it here. I could write a series of books on this (actually, I've thought of doing that before XD)
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? I'm not sure I even know what this means anymore. I don't continue feeling angry or irrationally dislike someone over things people have done, and I forgive people, but it doesn't mean the thing they did never happened. And of course, I'm going to make decisions in the future based on that? So like, if someone repeatedly betrays my trust, I will not trust them with something in the future, and if they ask me why, I will cite examples. But then people say I'm holding a grudge but I feel like that means all people hold grudges, because of course our experiences are going to influence our perceptions and decisions...?????
52) What is your astrological sign? Scorpio, Ox
53) Do you save money or spend it? Both. Questions like this are weird because you can't just save money. I mean, you could, I guess, but?????????????
54) What's the last thing you purchased? Um. Groceries. I don't remember exactly what but I don't really buy anything else.
55) Love or lust? What is this even asking? Um, lust?????????????
56) In a relationship? Yeah
57) How many relationships have you had? Several.
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No o_O
59) Where were you yesterday? Here. In the apartment. I never leave, except to go to Dennis's, and then I never leave there LOL
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Probably. I have a lot of pink things. Oh, yeah, of course! My pink PS2! It's always right next to me <3 And my Surface cover is pink, too, and it's in my bag (which is also right next to me always). Along with a pink folder that I use for notes on my game dev, which I haven't done in a while...
61) Are you wearing socks right now? Nope.
62) What's your favorite animal? Cockroaches <3 Of all kinds. I love all animals though (*hugs animals*)
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? ..........................
64) Where is your best friend? Right now, probably at work?? XD
dreamingmystic where are you XD65) Spit or swallow?(; I swallow, but honestly I hate cum in my mouth either way. I think it'd actually be worse to spit. It goes away faster swallowing and with spitting you'd probably get it all over your face and it'd be like nasty and spitty and gross.
66) What is your heritage? Nah. Various white people, though I also am part native. Though it was important to me as a child and I would visit my native family and go to native events and stuff, I'm so detached from it anymore that I don't feel comfortable really claiming it as part of my heritage. I'm pretty much like any other white person.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? Sleeping. I actually went to bed that early! Well, I was probably writhing in misery on the floor, but it was an attempt to sleep. I actually vomited in my mouth in the middle of the night and woke myself up. I'm guessing it's from anxiety because I ate pretty normally last night. Though I did have Shin Ramyun Black so many all the chili upset my stomach but... honestly I feel like I eat chilis almost every day in some form so I can't imagine it was that??
68) What do you think is Satan's last name? ... What?
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? ... wtf kind of question is this? XD "Have you ever eaten food? BE HONEST!" I mean I guess there are people out there who have never masturbated even once but this but I would say this is an experience that such a vast majority of people have had that to ask it is very strange lmao. I mean most people experiment with masturbation and experience orgasm even from early childhood/toddler age, so...
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Uh. Yes, because I'd totally ignore myself and we'd go like years without talking until finally I had something to say and I would not make any kind of deal, even the smallest, about how long it has been and just respond and then go back to not talking again. Also we'd pretty much communicate completely through LJ comments and both be on LJ all the time XDD
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Have an anxiety attack and drown myself too lol. Just reading this gave me anxiety lol. Though I lose every job anyway so I'd rescue the dog, to give a "real" answer, I guess.
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? This is such an extreme thing that I think it's impossible to really know how I'd react lol. I'd probably not tell anyone and just wander off and spend my remaining days "adventuring" on foot. But I think whenever people imagine these scenarios, we imagine we'd be in perfect health and then just FALL OVER at the expiration date lmfao. Maybe I'd just buy a bunch of Steam games and play them, I don't know. To be honest, I'd probably have anxiety the whole time, so it'd be better to just euthanize me once they realized. Actually can we just do that now? I mean I'm gonna die eventually so it's pretty much the same scenario. OH AND YES I'D BE AFRAID LOL
73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Trust.
74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Uhhh. I don't think there is anything that can consistently make me happy lololol.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 6999. I intentionally picked them, because they had already had it start with 6 and I wanted to ask for 6969 but I was kind of embarrassed so I asked for 6999.
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? That's... way to complicated. Not just communication, but valuing that communication. But what exactly I mean by that is... too much.
77) How can I win your heart? Have a mustache and don't talk to me.
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? wtf is "insanity"?
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Ha. Um. Yeah IDK. Going to OSU I guess.
80) What size shoes do you wear? IDK, like 10? I haven't gotten new shoes in like 15 years.
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Rather please PLEASE do not give me a tombstone or do any other superficial wasteful stuff because I'm dead. I mean I'm not super worried since no one cares about me enough to bother with that but I'm also worried because I feel like people would do it because that's "what you're supposed to do" and no one cares enough to respect that I don't want them to do it.
82) What is your favorite word? I don't have a favorite word; I love all words XD
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Uhhhh IDK I just thought of heart. Like the organ. I am really bad at word association lol.
84) What is a saying you say a lot? "I don't know." "I hate this game." LOL. I try to avoid 'sayings' and stuff though? Well, I don't try to avoid them per se, but I just don't really like the way they sound and so naturally avoid them.
85) What's the last song you listened to? IDK, I was listening to chiptunes mixes last night so it could have been anything.
86) Basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? brown, yellow, pink
87) What is your current desktop picture? I shared it here not long ago XD Naoki~~~
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? Myself. Actually, if such a thing existed, I would definitely be dead right now. Despite the fact that my anxiety makes me want to kill myself, it also prevents me from killing myself because the idea of living and just being hurt/injured (and having to deal with people afterward) is really terrifying.
89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? Well, depending on who I was telling it to... there'd be a lot of things. Honestly I lie about most things because almost everything I think/feel is "not acceptable."
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Uh freak out????????????????????????????????? I guess once I realized they weren't doing anything I'd try to ask them what they were doing??? Then I guess it'd go from there. Too bad it's not zombies though.
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Mind control. Ethics be damned. Though I'd mostly just use it to make people leave me alone. I feel like it would get too difficult and complicated if you used it to do big things. I'd mostly just have people leave me alone... then I could be productive and do anything else I wanted. Honestly interacting with people I feel like is the main thing that holds me back in life, so without that, I'd be almost limitless.
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Only a half an hour? IDK, that's so throw-away that I don't even care. I'd pick one of the early moments with Dennis, I guess, when he was very physically affectionate and we were both kind of overwhelmed with the whole 'new love' thing. But then I'd probably feel sad and longing for a while afterward so maybe not. Maybe just relive a moment of a fun gaming session or something. Or a moment from my childhood when I was care-free.
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I say the whole thing? Honestly I don't want to erase anything though because I don't feel like any of it affects me now, but I wouldn't be the same without those experiences. But I don't have like PTSD or anything so there's not really anything that affects me in such a way I'd need to get rid of it.
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? Why is it always music ? XD I'd be too self-conscious and embarrassed honestly that I wouldn't enjoy it. But if somehow that wasn't a factor... I don't even know. Despite having immense crushes on people like Naoki I never really think about them sexually? I don't really have sexual fantasies that involve myself, though -- I always imagine people with other people, and even then, most of my fantasies involve not-real people (I think I tried to fantasize about Naoki like once and it didn't work LOL). I guess going off that I'd say Sayumi Michishige but even then that seems weird. I'd rather be granted like a sex tape of a person of my choice instead of having to sleep with them XD (In that case, I'd still not know who to pick LOL)
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Uh, Japan was my first thought. It'd probably be my only opportunity to ever go XD
96) Do you have any relatives in jail? Probably. At least one of my uncles is in jail at any given time.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yeah, I get carsick pretty easily. Any kind of motion sickness really. Just thinking about it is making me feel carsick and I'm just sitting at a desk. I get sick from like porch swings.
98) Ever been on a plane? Yeah, and I puked there, too!! Actually I've been on planes many times and I think I puke every single time LOL or at least feel like I'm going to the entire time and then don't and feel horrible for a while after too.
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? THIS QUESTION GAVE ME A LOT OF ANXIETY LOL. Um, I don't have anything to the whole world. It's not like anyone would listen? I'd just say "leave me alone" I guess XD
