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marchionessofmustacheWell, I ended up reading this whole thing in almost one big marathon. But I got a little tired and distracted near the end and ended up finishing it up this morning. No pressure to anyone else, I realize I'm finishing this way early than anyone else and y'all have lots of things to deal with on your own.
Anyway, I don't have really any as-I-go thoughts since I read it all at once lmao. But I'll answer the little questions at the back of the book, too. Because I'm not good at creating my own talking points. But I'm also terrible at answering these questions, so...
So, I really enjoyed reading this overall. the writing style was very engaging, like listening to a really fun person actually tell you an amusing story. Which is not a thing I encounter a lot because I don't particularly have interest in other people or their stories oops. But it was fun for me.
A lot of moments I thought to myself "that's very unrealistic," but I had to remind myself that this story was told from the point of view of a child, and that many things were exaggerated. Some of them obviously so. But sometimes it wasn't very clear, and I tend to interpret things very literally.
But one thing I thought was, um, weird, were the attitudes of the adults about Sam. I realize that because of the letters, mostly everyone knew about Elsa and her little adventure, and so they let her go on with it and encouraged her along, helping her find answers and stuff even though she felt like she was figuring it all out herself.
But at the same time, there is a man trying to kidnap or kill her running around, and everyone is just super casual about it?! Even though they all know? They don't even ask for help from the police (until the very end), despite the police hanging around a lot and like, trying to fight a dog and stuff??? But they can't be bothered to, you know, stop a child abductor/murderer? Or perhaps the police were working on it the entire time, but Elsa just didn't know about it, and since we're told the story from her perspective, it was just never mentioned.
But still, Elsa pretty much is running all over the place unsupervised -- her dad knows she's not being picked up from school and is going to go off adventuring on her own, and is totally cool with that. The adults let her run off on her own to garages and other apartments and outside into cars and I feel like her mom must never know where she actually is? And they're letting her do all this when there's a known person out there hunting for her and has attempted to harm her on multiple occasions, like...???? They just act like "Oh yeah, murderers come for our kids sometimes, such is life!" Like ?!?!?!?!?!
And I was almost expecting the Shadow to be some kind of nightmare or creature of Elsa's imagination, but it seems that he was indeed a real human being and even in the epilogue which seemed no longer from Elsa's point of view, he existed, and was in prison. So uhhh all of this was really going on.
BUT YEAH. That's enough about that one aspect.
I'm as dense as an almost-eight-year-old because I didn't realize from the beginning that Granny's stories were based on actual people and events. I just thought they were stories that Granny made up to educate Elsa on her own code of ethics. But I guess because of that, I was more pleasantly surprised when it started piecing itself together. Though I did from the beginning assume that the "castle" Granny had asked Elsa to protect was going to be the complex, and that that was what Elsa was inheriting in the will (though I had kind of forgotten all about the will by the time it was finally revealed -- which I laughed aloud at the '4th wall' reference of the lawyer being remembered such as one remembers something from about the end of chapter 2 of a story. I indeed looked back to see if his name really was mentioned there, and it was.)
Despite all of the dark and gloomy themes, and genuinely sad events, I only cried at one moment -- when Elsa decided she'd tell Harry the story of the wurse and that he had to give up his seat on the bus for him. That was really the 'coming of age' moment of the story to me, and somehow more emotional than the wurse's actual death. I'm surprised because I loved the wurse, and I really loved Wolfheart, and that was a really intense moment involving both of them.
Speaking of characters I liked, I of course really liked everyone. Including Kent, until the very end, when I suddenly disliked Kent, and probably rightfully so (or maybe both right and wrong, as Elsa and Granny would determine). I had thought that Kent was talking to "Germany" on the phone to avoid having to deal with stressful stuff or whatever, similarly to how Skirt/Jeans talked on her headset to avoid having to communicate with people at all.
Wolfheart and Britt-Marie were probably my favorites overall. I like how every character in the story is severely flawed, to a point of not even really being redeemed in a traditional sense, but redeemed because Elsa chooses to forgive, and with the advice of Granny and the innocence of a child, is able to see good things about everyone. "She was good in that way, Britt-Marie." was one of my favorite lines, because Britt-Marie had been essentially the villain that everyone was able to talk bad about for most of the story, but Elsa eventually talked about her the way she talked about everyone else. I also have a special fondness for Alf, and Skirt/Jeans's inability to talk to people resonated with me a lot. But I loved everyone, really. I don't think there's really a character I disliked.
I'd really like to read it all again some time, because I think it'd be interesting to reread the fairytales in the beginning and see if I can pick out more information about the tenants.
Oh, yeah, there's another thing I'd like to talk about. This is one of the other things that sometimes I thought may have been an exaggeration, and maybe the amount of food was an exaggeration, but... it seemed like all they fed the worse was like... chocolate and alcohol and coffee?! Like, why didn't it die long before getting stabbed LOL like... it was just constantly eating chocolate??? Like as if that was its main source of food? And it seriously drank like gallons of alcohol and a few cups of coffee like... why????? Maybe Elsa was just sneaking it snacks like this but mostly the adults were actually taking proper care of the dog the whole time but... It's really hard to tell where reality ends and Elsa's imagination begins in this story when you start thinking too much about it.
Anyway, I'll answer the questions now. Fortunately, Dels found a website that has all the same questions from the back of the book, so I can just c/p instead of having to actually type them out, hahaha.
1. My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry begins with the pronouncement, “Every seven-year-old deserves a superhero.” (page 1) Do you agree? Why is it so important that children have heroes? Who were your heroes when you were a child?
... YAY questions like the first book. Honestly, who is going to say "No, I don't agree." to this?? The question even assumes you will agree, because the next two questions imply that you already said yes to the first lol.
Anyway, children naturally develop a sense of ethics, their core beliefs, etc. from watching those around them. It's important to have role models to look up to, because children need someone to mimic and need someone to aspire to be, as it's critical to their development.
As a child, I really don't know who my heroes were. When I was asked, I remember I said Super Mario, and then was scolded for giving a bad answer. As I got a bit older, I really looked up to Jim Henson, of all people. I guess. And I guess in a way, I aspired to be a lot like my mother, though now I wish I would not have. And by that I mean I wish I would have drawn from other people more, too. Not just her.
2. Names play a significant part in Elsa’s grandmother’s stories. How do the various kingdom and heroine names from the Land-of-Almost-Awake (Miamas, Miploris, Mimovas, Wolfheart, the Chosen One, the sea-angel, etc.) inform your understanding of Granny’s stories? Did you agree with how their real world counterparts were portrayed in the stories?
To be honest, I didn't really think much of the names as I was reading. I just thought they were suitably chosen fairytale-sounding names or something. But looking back on it, especially with the examples in the question, I can see how clever they really are. I especially like the idea of TBWAS being "The Chosen One," and overall I think I really like the fact that even though the villain's mental illness was presented as something to be feared, it was done so realistically, and almost everyone in the story had some kind of personality disorder, and overall the message Granny and Elsa try to get across is that those are simply things that make us different, and differences are what make us great. Elsa prides herself on being different, and the idea that being different is a great thing is constantly reinforced in the book, and so I'm very happy that characters like the boy with a syndrome are referred to as simply being different in yet another way. And Elsa finds ways to view everyone's differences as their strengths, even if those differences stem from illness or places of weakness. Elsa sees them as superpowers. And I think that the names portray this -- the names don't carry the same stigma, but rather, express it as a strength.
3. Elsa’s mother grew up in a nontraditional family environment. Do you think this influenced her parenting style with Elsa? In what ways?
No, because people are not influenced at all by the environment they grow up in. In reality, we're just randomly-programmed robots who do whatever no matter the circumstances. And just like all robots, that's the case of Elsa's mom.
Like, honestly whyyyyy do they ask questions like this? "Do you think getting stabbed hurt? In what way?"
But honestly "In what ways?" is way too ridiculously complicated of a question -- modern psychology doesn't even hold these answers, and to assume that I, random reader, do, is quite absurd.
4. Were you surprised by the ways in which each of the apartment tenants were connected to the others? Which relationship surprised you the most? Why?
Yes, but less so once it started happening multiple times. After that I was like "Oh, these people are all going to be related somehow." I guess probably that Lennart and Maud were Sam's parents was the most shocking, even though the fact that Sam even existed and the fact that those were his parents were revealed pretty much back-to-back. Or maybe that The Monster was actually Wolfheart, who was also the boy in the photo. That really surprised me, especially since it was the first one. I hadn't even realized the stories were based on real people yet.
5. Granny is a polarizing figure in My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry. Describe the way each of the characters reacts to her. Do you think their opinions of her are justified? Why or why not? What did you think of Granny? Do you know anyone like her?
I'm... not going to describe the way everyone reacts to her. That's a lot of characters. I also am not sure what qualifies as a "justified" reaction. I thought Granny was a good hero for Elsa, but would probably be really annoying to be around if she were real, and she'd probably stress me out horribly, so I'm not unsurprised that most people seemed quite a bit annoyed with her, too. I don't know anyone quite that wild, honestly. I know people who have certain traits of hers, but not anyone just like her haha.
6. Discuss the role that books, especially the Harry Potter novels, play in Elsa’s life. Why do you think Elsa relates to the Harry Potter books more than other novels? When you were growing up, were there books you particularly loved? Which ones and why?
As I've never read these books, I honestly don't know why she relates to them more than the others. But from the vague idea about it that I do have, Harry leaves a world where he is misunderstood and mistreated to live in a world where being different is what makes him great, right? It would make sense that such a thing relates to her life a lot, similarly to how there was also a parallel between the complex and the X-Mansion.
I can't even remember what books I loved when I was young? Even though I loved reading books, haha.
7. What did you think of Britt-Marie when you first encountered her? Did she remind you of anyone in your life? Where do you think Britt-Marie goes at the end of the novel?
To be honest, I liked her from the start. I mean, I realized she was annoying and I certainly wouldn't like her in real life, but I knew she was going to be the character that Elsa finally learns to love in the end. I knew she was going to have a reason for being the way she was, and that she was probably much more than she showed to other people. I really like stories about characters like that, so I had a feeling I would really love getting to know Britt-Marie. And I indeed did!
I thought it was explicitly stated that she was going to go traveling? To see the world she missed out on over the course of her life, to discover herself. I mean, I don't know exactly where. Probably many places, at least all over Europe?
8. Elsa believes that her “teachers are wrong. [She] has no problems concentrating. She just concentrates on the right things.” (page 47) What kinds of things does Elsa concentrate on? How does this create problems for her? Do you think that Elsa is a good student? Why or why not?
Well, she obviously concentrates on her fictional worlds, whether it's through the literature she enjoys or the almost-real world her Granny has built with everyone. She's probably the type of student who doesn't learn well in the structured format presented in schools, especially since it's probably quite below her level, so she's probably not a terribly good student because she probably finds school a waste of time. Plus school is an additional source of stress for her because she is attacked there a lot.
9. Which of the characters in My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry surprised you the most? Why?
I'm... not sure. Maybe Wolfheart, who was probably presented the most differently and abstractly from the start. So all of my expectations were completely unfounded, and he didn't end up being any of them. Except for being described as having long hair and a beard and being huge, because I had kinda imagined him as being hot from the beginning and he sounded pretty hot when they actually described him LOL
10. Discuss Britt-Marie’s marriage to Kent. Did you think they were well suited for each other? Do you think the marriage changed Britt-Marie? How can being in a bad relationship affect someone’s personality?
He was verbally abusive to her and cheated on her?????????????????????? That is not well-suited??????????????? But hey, look, the last question again assumes we're going to say "No." lol.
As for whether it changed Britt-Marie, I think a lot of things changed her, and it's hard to really answer what is responsible for what. But I do think after getting to the end that probably the reason she was so ridiculous about everything was not just to try to impress and get attention from Kent, but to just get attention at all. I mean, they literally spelled it out, though. So I think being in that type of relationship made her want to make everyone hate her so at least she felt as if she had some sort of impact on people at all, because she probably felt very lonely and worthless.
Bad relationships can affect people drastically, in so many ways. That's not really a question suitable for the back of a paperback, honestly. There's way too much to it.
11. Fairy tales can provide a way to teach children some fundamental truths about the world. How do Granny’s fairy tales help Elsa understand the world around her? What lessons does Elsa take away from the tales her Granny tells her about life in the land of Miamas?
I guess I kind of covered most of this answer. But I do appreciate that while most of the world shielded Elsa or told her "It's complicated," Granny explained the world around them to her in a way that a small child could understand. With stories that are entertaining and simple, and importantly, without "too much reality." Heavy stuff can be detrimental to a child's development and well-being (especially the way everyone starts piling it on Elsa by the end of the book, honestly!!), and they just can't emotionally handle all of that kind of stuff. But Granny's stories were importantly abstract, so Elsa only had to learn about general principles without consuming herself with the darkness of the world around her.
12. When her grandmother dies, Elsa is of course sad, but she also experiences a wide range of other emotions, including anger. Can you name some of the others? Consider how the loss of a loved one can lead us to have feelings that are much more complicated than sadness.
*draws the little stages of grief staircase thing*
I don't really think I'm qualified to answer this, because I've never really lost anyone. I feel like it's something that you can't really empathize with without experiencing it.
13. In this book, as in his previous novel A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman paints a vivid portrait of the relationship between an older person nearing the end of his or her life, and a young child. What can people at the opposite ends of life learn from one another? How are the very old and the very young alike? How are they different? When you were very young, was there an elderly person who played a significant role in your life? What did you learn from them?
When I was younger I didn't really know any old people, and didn't really do much with my grandparents, so I don't really know about that. But being in a relationship with an older person, from when I was still at that 'college kid' stage in my life, I think I've had a lot of time to experience the differences and similarities between young and old people. I think it's a lot more hazy of a line than we'd really like to think, though, and that everyone as individuals are much more different than we'd like to believe. Older people certainly have a lot more experience, which is something younger people can't have, but there can still be experiences that a young person has had than an old person hasn't. And it's really more about individuals than their age. In the end, we're all just humans that have been alive for some amount of time and have had some amounts of experiences and have learned from those. But everyone has done it in different ways and at different times, so it's not the age that really matters.
I think one of the things that does stand out to me, though, that does have to do with age, is that despite growing up in the same location, young and old people came from different cultures. I've really grown to realize just how much society as a whole changes in such a short period of time. From what is considered acceptable to more silly things like whether or not fish and birds are interpret as animals. And it's made me realize just how strongly culture influences our thoughts and behaviors, and the lasting power that that culture has over people.
Annnnd that's the end of the questions. The others want you to read other books and watch movies and stuff and then answer, and I don't think we're going to do that. I didn't even know about Harry Potter.
In conclusion, though I've said it, I really enjoyed this book even if there were some weird moments that I really had to remind myself this was the perspective of a 7-year-old. But I think that, itself, also makes it great, but it feels so much like the perspective of a child -- whimsical, playful, exaggerated, but at the same time with a level of insight that comes from children who are still full of questions.
Anyway, I don't have really any as-I-go thoughts since I read it all at once lmao. But I'll answer the little questions at the back of the book, too. Because I'm not good at creating my own talking points. But I'm also terrible at answering these questions, so...
So, I really enjoyed reading this overall. the writing style was very engaging, like listening to a really fun person actually tell you an amusing story. Which is not a thing I encounter a lot because I don't particularly have interest in other people or their stories oops. But it was fun for me.
A lot of moments I thought to myself "that's very unrealistic," but I had to remind myself that this story was told from the point of view of a child, and that many things were exaggerated. Some of them obviously so. But sometimes it wasn't very clear, and I tend to interpret things very literally.
But one thing I thought was, um, weird, were the attitudes of the adults about Sam. I realize that because of the letters, mostly everyone knew about Elsa and her little adventure, and so they let her go on with it and encouraged her along, helping her find answers and stuff even though she felt like she was figuring it all out herself.
But at the same time, there is a man trying to kidnap or kill her running around, and everyone is just super casual about it?! Even though they all know? They don't even ask for help from the police (until the very end), despite the police hanging around a lot and like, trying to fight a dog and stuff??? But they can't be bothered to, you know, stop a child abductor/murderer? Or perhaps the police were working on it the entire time, but Elsa just didn't know about it, and since we're told the story from her perspective, it was just never mentioned.
But still, Elsa pretty much is running all over the place unsupervised -- her dad knows she's not being picked up from school and is going to go off adventuring on her own, and is totally cool with that. The adults let her run off on her own to garages and other apartments and outside into cars and I feel like her mom must never know where she actually is? And they're letting her do all this when there's a known person out there hunting for her and has attempted to harm her on multiple occasions, like...???? They just act like "Oh yeah, murderers come for our kids sometimes, such is life!" Like ?!?!?!?!?!
And I was almost expecting the Shadow to be some kind of nightmare or creature of Elsa's imagination, but it seems that he was indeed a real human being and even in the epilogue which seemed no longer from Elsa's point of view, he existed, and was in prison. So uhhh all of this was really going on.
BUT YEAH. That's enough about that one aspect.
I'm as dense as an almost-eight-year-old because I didn't realize from the beginning that Granny's stories were based on actual people and events. I just thought they were stories that Granny made up to educate Elsa on her own code of ethics. But I guess because of that, I was more pleasantly surprised when it started piecing itself together. Though I did from the beginning assume that the "castle" Granny had asked Elsa to protect was going to be the complex, and that that was what Elsa was inheriting in the will (though I had kind of forgotten all about the will by the time it was finally revealed -- which I laughed aloud at the '4th wall' reference of the lawyer being remembered such as one remembers something from about the end of chapter 2 of a story. I indeed looked back to see if his name really was mentioned there, and it was.)
Despite all of the dark and gloomy themes, and genuinely sad events, I only cried at one moment -- when Elsa decided she'd tell Harry the story of the wurse and that he had to give up his seat on the bus for him. That was really the 'coming of age' moment of the story to me, and somehow more emotional than the wurse's actual death. I'm surprised because I loved the wurse, and I really loved Wolfheart, and that was a really intense moment involving both of them.
Speaking of characters I liked, I of course really liked everyone. Including Kent, until the very end, when I suddenly disliked Kent, and probably rightfully so (or maybe both right and wrong, as Elsa and Granny would determine). I had thought that Kent was talking to "Germany" on the phone to avoid having to deal with stressful stuff or whatever, similarly to how Skirt/Jeans talked on her headset to avoid having to communicate with people at all.
Wolfheart and Britt-Marie were probably my favorites overall. I like how every character in the story is severely flawed, to a point of not even really being redeemed in a traditional sense, but redeemed because Elsa chooses to forgive, and with the advice of Granny and the innocence of a child, is able to see good things about everyone. "She was good in that way, Britt-Marie." was one of my favorite lines, because Britt-Marie had been essentially the villain that everyone was able to talk bad about for most of the story, but Elsa eventually talked about her the way she talked about everyone else. I also have a special fondness for Alf, and Skirt/Jeans's inability to talk to people resonated with me a lot. But I loved everyone, really. I don't think there's really a character I disliked.
I'd really like to read it all again some time, because I think it'd be interesting to reread the fairytales in the beginning and see if I can pick out more information about the tenants.
Oh, yeah, there's another thing I'd like to talk about. This is one of the other things that sometimes I thought may have been an exaggeration, and maybe the amount of food was an exaggeration, but... it seemed like all they fed the worse was like... chocolate and alcohol and coffee?! Like, why didn't it die long before getting stabbed LOL like... it was just constantly eating chocolate??? Like as if that was its main source of food? And it seriously drank like gallons of alcohol and a few cups of coffee like... why????? Maybe Elsa was just sneaking it snacks like this but mostly the adults were actually taking proper care of the dog the whole time but... It's really hard to tell where reality ends and Elsa's imagination begins in this story when you start thinking too much about it.
Anyway, I'll answer the questions now. Fortunately, Dels found a website that has all the same questions from the back of the book, so I can just c/p instead of having to actually type them out, hahaha.
1. My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry begins with the pronouncement, “Every seven-year-old deserves a superhero.” (page 1) Do you agree? Why is it so important that children have heroes? Who were your heroes when you were a child?
... YAY questions like the first book. Honestly, who is going to say "No, I don't agree." to this?? The question even assumes you will agree, because the next two questions imply that you already said yes to the first lol.
Anyway, children naturally develop a sense of ethics, their core beliefs, etc. from watching those around them. It's important to have role models to look up to, because children need someone to mimic and need someone to aspire to be, as it's critical to their development.
As a child, I really don't know who my heroes were. When I was asked, I remember I said Super Mario, and then was scolded for giving a bad answer. As I got a bit older, I really looked up to Jim Henson, of all people. I guess. And I guess in a way, I aspired to be a lot like my mother, though now I wish I would not have. And by that I mean I wish I would have drawn from other people more, too. Not just her.
2. Names play a significant part in Elsa’s grandmother’s stories. How do the various kingdom and heroine names from the Land-of-Almost-Awake (Miamas, Miploris, Mimovas, Wolfheart, the Chosen One, the sea-angel, etc.) inform your understanding of Granny’s stories? Did you agree with how their real world counterparts were portrayed in the stories?
To be honest, I didn't really think much of the names as I was reading. I just thought they were suitably chosen fairytale-sounding names or something. But looking back on it, especially with the examples in the question, I can see how clever they really are. I especially like the idea of TBWAS being "The Chosen One," and overall I think I really like the fact that even though the villain's mental illness was presented as something to be feared, it was done so realistically, and almost everyone in the story had some kind of personality disorder, and overall the message Granny and Elsa try to get across is that those are simply things that make us different, and differences are what make us great. Elsa prides herself on being different, and the idea that being different is a great thing is constantly reinforced in the book, and so I'm very happy that characters like the boy with a syndrome are referred to as simply being different in yet another way. And Elsa finds ways to view everyone's differences as their strengths, even if those differences stem from illness or places of weakness. Elsa sees them as superpowers. And I think that the names portray this -- the names don't carry the same stigma, but rather, express it as a strength.
3. Elsa’s mother grew up in a nontraditional family environment. Do you think this influenced her parenting style with Elsa? In what ways?
No, because people are not influenced at all by the environment they grow up in. In reality, we're just randomly-programmed robots who do whatever no matter the circumstances. And just like all robots, that's the case of Elsa's mom.
Like, honestly whyyyyy do they ask questions like this? "Do you think getting stabbed hurt? In what way?"
But honestly "In what ways?" is way too ridiculously complicated of a question -- modern psychology doesn't even hold these answers, and to assume that I, random reader, do, is quite absurd.
4. Were you surprised by the ways in which each of the apartment tenants were connected to the others? Which relationship surprised you the most? Why?
Yes, but less so once it started happening multiple times. After that I was like "Oh, these people are all going to be related somehow." I guess probably that Lennart and Maud were Sam's parents was the most shocking, even though the fact that Sam even existed and the fact that those were his parents were revealed pretty much back-to-back. Or maybe that The Monster was actually Wolfheart, who was also the boy in the photo. That really surprised me, especially since it was the first one. I hadn't even realized the stories were based on real people yet.
5. Granny is a polarizing figure in My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry. Describe the way each of the characters reacts to her. Do you think their opinions of her are justified? Why or why not? What did you think of Granny? Do you know anyone like her?
I'm... not going to describe the way everyone reacts to her. That's a lot of characters. I also am not sure what qualifies as a "justified" reaction. I thought Granny was a good hero for Elsa, but would probably be really annoying to be around if she were real, and she'd probably stress me out horribly, so I'm not unsurprised that most people seemed quite a bit annoyed with her, too. I don't know anyone quite that wild, honestly. I know people who have certain traits of hers, but not anyone just like her haha.
6. Discuss the role that books, especially the Harry Potter novels, play in Elsa’s life. Why do you think Elsa relates to the Harry Potter books more than other novels? When you were growing up, were there books you particularly loved? Which ones and why?
As I've never read these books, I honestly don't know why she relates to them more than the others. But from the vague idea about it that I do have, Harry leaves a world where he is misunderstood and mistreated to live in a world where being different is what makes him great, right? It would make sense that such a thing relates to her life a lot, similarly to how there was also a parallel between the complex and the X-Mansion.
I can't even remember what books I loved when I was young? Even though I loved reading books, haha.
7. What did you think of Britt-Marie when you first encountered her? Did she remind you of anyone in your life? Where do you think Britt-Marie goes at the end of the novel?
To be honest, I liked her from the start. I mean, I realized she was annoying and I certainly wouldn't like her in real life, but I knew she was going to be the character that Elsa finally learns to love in the end. I knew she was going to have a reason for being the way she was, and that she was probably much more than she showed to other people. I really like stories about characters like that, so I had a feeling I would really love getting to know Britt-Marie. And I indeed did!
I thought it was explicitly stated that she was going to go traveling? To see the world she missed out on over the course of her life, to discover herself. I mean, I don't know exactly where. Probably many places, at least all over Europe?
8. Elsa believes that her “teachers are wrong. [She] has no problems concentrating. She just concentrates on the right things.” (page 47) What kinds of things does Elsa concentrate on? How does this create problems for her? Do you think that Elsa is a good student? Why or why not?
Well, she obviously concentrates on her fictional worlds, whether it's through the literature she enjoys or the almost-real world her Granny has built with everyone. She's probably the type of student who doesn't learn well in the structured format presented in schools, especially since it's probably quite below her level, so she's probably not a terribly good student because she probably finds school a waste of time. Plus school is an additional source of stress for her because she is attacked there a lot.
9. Which of the characters in My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry surprised you the most? Why?
I'm... not sure. Maybe Wolfheart, who was probably presented the most differently and abstractly from the start. So all of my expectations were completely unfounded, and he didn't end up being any of them. Except for being described as having long hair and a beard and being huge, because I had kinda imagined him as being hot from the beginning and he sounded pretty hot when they actually described him LOL
10. Discuss Britt-Marie’s marriage to Kent. Did you think they were well suited for each other? Do you think the marriage changed Britt-Marie? How can being in a bad relationship affect someone’s personality?
He was verbally abusive to her and cheated on her?????????????????????? That is not well-suited??????????????? But hey, look, the last question again assumes we're going to say "No." lol.
As for whether it changed Britt-Marie, I think a lot of things changed her, and it's hard to really answer what is responsible for what. But I do think after getting to the end that probably the reason she was so ridiculous about everything was not just to try to impress and get attention from Kent, but to just get attention at all. I mean, they literally spelled it out, though. So I think being in that type of relationship made her want to make everyone hate her so at least she felt as if she had some sort of impact on people at all, because she probably felt very lonely and worthless.
Bad relationships can affect people drastically, in so many ways. That's not really a question suitable for the back of a paperback, honestly. There's way too much to it.
11. Fairy tales can provide a way to teach children some fundamental truths about the world. How do Granny’s fairy tales help Elsa understand the world around her? What lessons does Elsa take away from the tales her Granny tells her about life in the land of Miamas?
I guess I kind of covered most of this answer. But I do appreciate that while most of the world shielded Elsa or told her "It's complicated," Granny explained the world around them to her in a way that a small child could understand. With stories that are entertaining and simple, and importantly, without "too much reality." Heavy stuff can be detrimental to a child's development and well-being (especially the way everyone starts piling it on Elsa by the end of the book, honestly!!), and they just can't emotionally handle all of that kind of stuff. But Granny's stories were importantly abstract, so Elsa only had to learn about general principles without consuming herself with the darkness of the world around her.
12. When her grandmother dies, Elsa is of course sad, but she also experiences a wide range of other emotions, including anger. Can you name some of the others? Consider how the loss of a loved one can lead us to have feelings that are much more complicated than sadness.
*draws the little stages of grief staircase thing*
I don't really think I'm qualified to answer this, because I've never really lost anyone. I feel like it's something that you can't really empathize with without experiencing it.
13. In this book, as in his previous novel A Man Called Ove, Fredrik Backman paints a vivid portrait of the relationship between an older person nearing the end of his or her life, and a young child. What can people at the opposite ends of life learn from one another? How are the very old and the very young alike? How are they different? When you were very young, was there an elderly person who played a significant role in your life? What did you learn from them?
When I was younger I didn't really know any old people, and didn't really do much with my grandparents, so I don't really know about that. But being in a relationship with an older person, from when I was still at that 'college kid' stage in my life, I think I've had a lot of time to experience the differences and similarities between young and old people. I think it's a lot more hazy of a line than we'd really like to think, though, and that everyone as individuals are much more different than we'd like to believe. Older people certainly have a lot more experience, which is something younger people can't have, but there can still be experiences that a young person has had than an old person hasn't. And it's really more about individuals than their age. In the end, we're all just humans that have been alive for some amount of time and have had some amounts of experiences and have learned from those. But everyone has done it in different ways and at different times, so it's not the age that really matters.
I think one of the things that does stand out to me, though, that does have to do with age, is that despite growing up in the same location, young and old people came from different cultures. I've really grown to realize just how much society as a whole changes in such a short period of time. From what is considered acceptable to more silly things like whether or not fish and birds are interpret as animals. And it's made me realize just how strongly culture influences our thoughts and behaviors, and the lasting power that that culture has over people.
Annnnd that's the end of the questions. The others want you to read other books and watch movies and stuff and then answer, and I don't think we're going to do that. I didn't even know about Harry Potter.
In conclusion, though I've said it, I really enjoyed this book even if there were some weird moments that I really had to remind myself this was the perspective of a 7-year-old. But I think that, itself, also makes it great, but it feels so much like the perspective of a child -- whimsical, playful, exaggerated, but at the same time with a level of insight that comes from children who are still full of questions.
