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Oct. 3rd, 2016 12:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marchionessofmustacheToday was a lot of football. I watched both AFC South games (they had such similar endings haha) and then ate. I also cut the grass. Um. Then I made that unsaga post with what I had played last night. And then I looked at photos from the games today and then watched end of some other games... then I ate while listening to a game and then I didn't really care to watch the game so I played a bit more unsaga and just did a couple subadventures instead of going on to Two Moons Temple. Importantly I wanted to get herbs and a tablet which I will talk about in the post about it when the pictures finish uploading.
I don't remember if I posted about this here already so if I've already said this then oops. But I might post a review of a 1985 porn film called Tasty because it is super hilarious. Like, the story was written to be silly and not take itself seriously, but the actors perform seriously so it's great. Jesse Eastern is in it pre-mustache. I didn't think I'd like him at all without mustache, and even though he doesn't rally have any features I like without it, I'm still pretty into him without mustache I guess??? I think I've just grown really attached to him idk. But really the best part of this film is the story hahaha.
IDK when I'll actually get around to that, though. I kinda wanna play Two Moons Temple tonight. Though I still have a while to wait for the last set of pics to upload to facebook.
My mom has been commenting on my stuff a lot recently. It's kind of annoying. She usually says stuff I have no idea how to respond to, or says something weird. I wrote a post about why I feel responding to homophobia by saying the person is 'suppressing their own homosexuality' or whatever is problematic, and she commented a thing about how it's 'not a phobia they're just assholes' and it's like... alksdjflaksdjflaksdjf why would you make a stupid fake Morgan Freeman quote like... a part of your actual worldview. But yeah as a linguist I couldn't just let that one go so I had to write a comment about words being defined by their usage.
She also like tags me in weird things and once I just didn't respond at all so she like... posted the same thing again a few days later and tagged me in it again... so now I have to at least 'like' them all. Interacting with my mom in general just makes me uncomfortable lol so I really don't like all this random attention now.
Though recently she invited me to go to a Colts game and it's like... go to Colts game for free, plus I feel like I should at least do things with her now and then because she's my mom, and even though I don't think that's really a good reason to involve yourself with someone, she's not really a bad person, I just don't really like being around her very much lol. And I don't really want her to like be sad about me not wanting to do stuff with her or whatever.
Actually my doctor asked me something about my mom and I was like uh IDK I haven't really talked to her in like 5 years and she was like "Why?" and I couldn't really say anything besides "IDK I just don't really like her?" like I have nothing against her we just don't really get along??? Like not as in we fight or anything just... she is just not a person I'm interested in and she makes me uncomfortable because she's super aggressive. She's also that uh... 'white feminist' type and I used to be that type of person, too, but I've learned a lot and listened to a lot of other opinions and voices but she has not but I don't have the energy or emotional fortitude to say anything about it. I'm surprised I even bothered responding to the homophobia thing because I really didn't want to but I felt like my ... linguistic identity was in jeopardy LOL.
Ugh she wrote a weird comment in response already. I super hate facebook LOL. Like it's not anything bad or anything like we just... communicate really differently or something and I never know what to say or how to respond. It's really easy to talk to my dad even though we actually have a worse relationship? Like both of us kind of dislike each other LOL whereas I have nothing against my mom I just don't want to talk to her XD Anyway I'm just going to 'like' it and move on LOL.
Recently I've been mass adding people on facebook just for fun -- I used to add people who played this dragon-raising Windows game, and like... I long since have stopped playing (like as in... at least a year ago LOL) but I just like... add anyone who friend requests me. At first it was obvious they played the game and I'd only add people who had their user picture thing set as something from the game or another stupid game like that, since I knew that's why they were adding me. Because even if I don't play, they can still get some stuff in the game just for sending me gifts every day, even if I'm not playing to accept the gifts. Like it gives them EXP or money or something, IDK.
But anymore now I just add all the suggested friends as long as they have 3 or more mutuals with me, and because I'm mass adding, I guess it's recommending me to a lot of people, too, because I get tons of friend requests every day. I don't really have anything worth 'stealing' on facebook and I took all my personal info off. I mean I think it says my city and some other stupid stuff. But like, I've just been adding literally everyone, but not even looking at the names or who the mutuals are...
So that means I've also been sending friend requests to like... people I went to high school with and my family and stuff because they had 3 mutuals with me and I... did not realize I was doing this at all. So like, now I have all these friends who actually know me and it's annoying LOL.
Like, I really hate facebook and I hate being friends with people I know on there because basically facebook is just a window (I actually typed that normally then deleted it to capitalize it because I so often talk about Windows XD) into how terrible and hateful and ignorant everyone you know is.
Like, I have this friend on there who posts a lot of problematic stuff but he actually tries to learn. He's posted stuff that's made me really upset and I commented and he tried to understand. He makes an effort. I've watched his views change. And even though he still posts a lot of stuff I'm uncomfortable with or think is harmful, I respect him because he's learning. We're all works-in-progress and it takes time to sort out your views, and the world is always changing, so we're all constantly having to re-evaluate. And he's doing that, so it's fine. If I think something is important enough I'll comment about it or whatever (actually I posted the homophobia thing in response to something he said, but I didn't feel like engaging him directly about it so I just posted how I felt about the thing in general on my ... wall or whatever it is now, idk).
But most people on there make no effort, and viciously respond to anyone who might challenge their "views," or just say something really stupid and like... idk I just really can't stand this at all, even though I realize most people are like that lol. Like, I'm totally fine if you think things I have problems with as long as you're trying?? Because I know myself I think all kinds of stupid and ignorant stuff because I simply don't know any better yet and it's going to take me finding out about it or someone saying something to me for me to reconsider those things. I don't know what they are yet because I haven't had them challenged. Everyone is like that. But most people refuse to question and refuse to be challenged and it makes me hate the world and everything in it and want to die lol. Like not an exaggeration, it literally destroys my will to live. I feel like living in a world like this is pointless and painful.
This random guy that I added for the game recently posts all the time and it always shows me his posts and like they make no sense, and they sound like they're trying to be like philosophical and stuff but they're like so absolutely vague that it means nothing at all. But he's kinda hot and he's pretty nice so I've actually been interacting with him a bit LOL. He commented on the homophobia thing too but his comment made no sense to me so I just liked it. Though after my mom commented, I actually think he was trying to say something similar, but I don't know him well enough to just infer what he's saying and respond to it or whatever. But he seems very thoughtful at least. Also he's Christian and seems to constantly challenge and question his own beliefs and other Christians which is... a very rare thing so that's nice to see, and he still seems very firm at least in his Christianity, even if means rethinking what it means, so it's very respectable. I feel like most people who claim to be Christians are just... like people of this weird like... church fandom... that don't even like think much about like... the teachings of Jesus or anything??? I'm not a Christian but I love Jesus and it really bothers me that people that claim to follow him completely ignore everything he stood for...? But yeah IDK now I'm talking about all kinds of things I didn't even mean to go into -- my point was just that I'm always really happy to find Christians who are actual Christians and thoughtful and not just people who like... go to a building they call church and vote Republican and preach at people without listening to what others say and think this makes them Christian. It's funny because the last time I met a Christian person like this online it was on FurAffinity and that guy like... said a bunch of weird stuff that was so incredibly vague it was void of meaning, too. I mean I realize they're just expressing something that is meaningful to them so it's cool, it's just like... IDK what to do with it because I don't understand what they're trying to say. The furry guy called himself a NALT and I asked him what that meant and he said "Not All Like That. I accept homosexuals and their lifestyle." or something idk it was super weird, but I mean, he was sincere and he wasn't even like... with that kind of mindset like 'you're a sinner but I'll let it pass because I'm supposed to' or something, it was just like... he encountered a lot of people who just assumed he was homophobic because he was Catholic and so I guess he like made a point to say he wasn't because he didn't want people to think that??? I mean I am openly non-binary/genderqueer and pansexual on furaffinity and draw all kinds of weird stuff on there and talked to this guy a lot and even drew a gift art for him and he just saw me as an equal But yeah I'm not saying like 'most Christians are bad but some are good' -- I honestly think anyone who is truly Christian would be good, it's just there's a lot of fake Christians who think Christianity is about weird sociopolitical stances and not about ... the Bible and Jesus?? Like, I read the Bible (even if I make fun of it a lot, but I make fun of all things I like lol) and the teachings of Jesus have had their part in shaping my own ethics. I'm not a Christian because I don't believe in everything that would make me one, but I really appreciate meeting Christians who think critically of Christianity to further refine and reinforce their own faith.
OK I TALKED WAY MORE ABOUT THAT THAN I MEANT TO.
IDK if I have time to do Two Moons Temple now so maybe I will start on the porn review LOL.
That guy just posted "If you fail all my expectations, I will inevitably fail all of yours." and like... yeah see??? Like... it SOUNDS like it makes sense but... it doesn't??? Is it meant to imply his expectation is that you have expectations that are impossible to fail? What does it mean? It doesn't mean anything LOL. But I'm sure it means something to him so that's good but I just have no idea what to think or say about it.
I don't remember if I posted about this here already so if I've already said this then oops. But I might post a review of a 1985 porn film called Tasty because it is super hilarious. Like, the story was written to be silly and not take itself seriously, but the actors perform seriously so it's great. Jesse Eastern is in it pre-mustache. I didn't think I'd like him at all without mustache, and even though he doesn't rally have any features I like without it, I'm still pretty into him without mustache I guess??? I think I've just grown really attached to him idk. But really the best part of this film is the story hahaha.
IDK when I'll actually get around to that, though. I kinda wanna play Two Moons Temple tonight. Though I still have a while to wait for the last set of pics to upload to facebook.
My mom has been commenting on my stuff a lot recently. It's kind of annoying. She usually says stuff I have no idea how to respond to, or says something weird. I wrote a post about why I feel responding to homophobia by saying the person is 'suppressing their own homosexuality' or whatever is problematic, and she commented a thing about how it's 'not a phobia they're just assholes' and it's like... alksdjflaksdjflaksdjf why would you make a stupid fake Morgan Freeman quote like... a part of your actual worldview. But yeah as a linguist I couldn't just let that one go so I had to write a comment about words being defined by their usage.
She also like tags me in weird things and once I just didn't respond at all so she like... posted the same thing again a few days later and tagged me in it again... so now I have to at least 'like' them all. Interacting with my mom in general just makes me uncomfortable lol so I really don't like all this random attention now.
Though recently she invited me to go to a Colts game and it's like... go to Colts game for free, plus I feel like I should at least do things with her now and then because she's my mom, and even though I don't think that's really a good reason to involve yourself with someone, she's not really a bad person, I just don't really like being around her very much lol. And I don't really want her to like be sad about me not wanting to do stuff with her or whatever.
Actually my doctor asked me something about my mom and I was like uh IDK I haven't really talked to her in like 5 years and she was like "Why?" and I couldn't really say anything besides "IDK I just don't really like her?" like I have nothing against her we just don't really get along??? Like not as in we fight or anything just... she is just not a person I'm interested in and she makes me uncomfortable because she's super aggressive. She's also that uh... 'white feminist' type and I used to be that type of person, too, but I've learned a lot and listened to a lot of other opinions and voices but she has not but I don't have the energy or emotional fortitude to say anything about it. I'm surprised I even bothered responding to the homophobia thing because I really didn't want to but I felt like my ... linguistic identity was in jeopardy LOL.
Ugh she wrote a weird comment in response already. I super hate facebook LOL. Like it's not anything bad or anything like we just... communicate really differently or something and I never know what to say or how to respond. It's really easy to talk to my dad even though we actually have a worse relationship? Like both of us kind of dislike each other LOL whereas I have nothing against my mom I just don't want to talk to her XD Anyway I'm just going to 'like' it and move on LOL.
Recently I've been mass adding people on facebook just for fun -- I used to add people who played this dragon-raising Windows game, and like... I long since have stopped playing (like as in... at least a year ago LOL) but I just like... add anyone who friend requests me. At first it was obvious they played the game and I'd only add people who had their user picture thing set as something from the game or another stupid game like that, since I knew that's why they were adding me. Because even if I don't play, they can still get some stuff in the game just for sending me gifts every day, even if I'm not playing to accept the gifts. Like it gives them EXP or money or something, IDK.
But anymore now I just add all the suggested friends as long as they have 3 or more mutuals with me, and because I'm mass adding, I guess it's recommending me to a lot of people, too, because I get tons of friend requests every day. I don't really have anything worth 'stealing' on facebook and I took all my personal info off. I mean I think it says my city and some other stupid stuff. But like, I've just been adding literally everyone, but not even looking at the names or who the mutuals are...
So that means I've also been sending friend requests to like... people I went to high school with and my family and stuff because they had 3 mutuals with me and I... did not realize I was doing this at all. So like, now I have all these friends who actually know me and it's annoying LOL.
Like, I really hate facebook and I hate being friends with people I know on there because basically facebook is just a window (I actually typed that normally then deleted it to capitalize it because I so often talk about Windows XD) into how terrible and hateful and ignorant everyone you know is.
Like, I have this friend on there who posts a lot of problematic stuff but he actually tries to learn. He's posted stuff that's made me really upset and I commented and he tried to understand. He makes an effort. I've watched his views change. And even though he still posts a lot of stuff I'm uncomfortable with or think is harmful, I respect him because he's learning. We're all works-in-progress and it takes time to sort out your views, and the world is always changing, so we're all constantly having to re-evaluate. And he's doing that, so it's fine. If I think something is important enough I'll comment about it or whatever (actually I posted the homophobia thing in response to something he said, but I didn't feel like engaging him directly about it so I just posted how I felt about the thing in general on my ... wall or whatever it is now, idk).
But most people on there make no effort, and viciously respond to anyone who might challenge their "views," or just say something really stupid and like... idk I just really can't stand this at all, even though I realize most people are like that lol. Like, I'm totally fine if you think things I have problems with as long as you're trying?? Because I know myself I think all kinds of stupid and ignorant stuff because I simply don't know any better yet and it's going to take me finding out about it or someone saying something to me for me to reconsider those things. I don't know what they are yet because I haven't had them challenged. Everyone is like that. But most people refuse to question and refuse to be challenged and it makes me hate the world and everything in it and want to die lol. Like not an exaggeration, it literally destroys my will to live. I feel like living in a world like this is pointless and painful.
This random guy that I added for the game recently posts all the time and it always shows me his posts and like they make no sense, and they sound like they're trying to be like philosophical and stuff but they're like so absolutely vague that it means nothing at all. But he's kinda hot and he's pretty nice so I've actually been interacting with him a bit LOL. He commented on the homophobia thing too but his comment made no sense to me so I just liked it. Though after my mom commented, I actually think he was trying to say something similar, but I don't know him well enough to just infer what he's saying and respond to it or whatever. But he seems very thoughtful at least. Also he's Christian and seems to constantly challenge and question his own beliefs and other Christians which is... a very rare thing so that's nice to see, and he still seems very firm at least in his Christianity, even if means rethinking what it means, so it's very respectable. I feel like most people who claim to be Christians are just... like people of this weird like... church fandom... that don't even like think much about like... the teachings of Jesus or anything??? I'm not a Christian but I love Jesus and it really bothers me that people that claim to follow him completely ignore everything he stood for...? But yeah IDK now I'm talking about all kinds of things I didn't even mean to go into -- my point was just that I'm always really happy to find Christians who are actual Christians and thoughtful and not just people who like... go to a building they call church and vote Republican and preach at people without listening to what others say and think this makes them Christian. It's funny because the last time I met a Christian person like this online it was on FurAffinity and that guy like... said a bunch of weird stuff that was so incredibly vague it was void of meaning, too. I mean I realize they're just expressing something that is meaningful to them so it's cool, it's just like... IDK what to do with it because I don't understand what they're trying to say. The furry guy called himself a NALT and I asked him what that meant and he said "Not All Like That. I accept homosexuals and their lifestyle." or something idk it was super weird, but I mean, he was sincere and he wasn't even like... with that kind of mindset like 'you're a sinner but I'll let it pass because I'm supposed to' or something, it was just like... he encountered a lot of people who just assumed he was homophobic because he was Catholic and so I guess he like made a point to say he wasn't because he didn't want people to think that??? I mean I am openly non-binary/genderqueer and pansexual on furaffinity and draw all kinds of weird stuff on there and talked to this guy a lot and even drew a gift art for him and he just saw me as an equal But yeah I'm not saying like 'most Christians are bad but some are good' -- I honestly think anyone who is truly Christian would be good, it's just there's a lot of fake Christians who think Christianity is about weird sociopolitical stances and not about ... the Bible and Jesus?? Like, I read the Bible (even if I make fun of it a lot, but I make fun of all things I like lol) and the teachings of Jesus have had their part in shaping my own ethics. I'm not a Christian because I don't believe in everything that would make me one, but I really appreciate meeting Christians who think critically of Christianity to further refine and reinforce their own faith.
OK I TALKED WAY MORE ABOUT THAT THAN I MEANT TO.
IDK if I have time to do Two Moons Temple now so maybe I will start on the porn review LOL.
That guy just posted "If you fail all my expectations, I will inevitably fail all of yours." and like... yeah see??? Like... it SOUNDS like it makes sense but... it doesn't??? Is it meant to imply his expectation is that you have expectations that are impossible to fail? What does it mean? It doesn't mean anything LOL. But I'm sure it means something to him so that's good but I just have no idea what to think or say about it.
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Date: 2016-10-04 06:24 pm (UTC)"She usually says stuff I have no idea how to respond to, or says something weird." <~~ I FEEL LIKE I ALWAYS DO THIS TO YOU, but I like you/love reading your thoughts, so I don't know what else to do but increase the awkwardness of everything with my existence and just blabber random-ishly at you. I also tag you in random weird stuff. XD
My mom was never around for social media, but I could see how having a parent reading your thoughts and commenting might be difficult.
I take FB breaks when I get too depressed. Because you are right about it. I didn't need to know my friends from work think all Muslims are evil, or stuff like that. FB only reminds me of mostly bad things. Then again, I got to show you business fish hoodie (If I had money, I'd buy us both business fish hoodies!).
no subject
Date: 2016-10-04 06:34 pm (UTC)And noooo I like reading what you have to say. I always am happy to see I have comments from you :D It's a completely different thing from my mom's comments XD
I remember when social media first started I told my mom about lj and she started reading it and like literally I was a teenager posting stuff like 'THIS NOSE MAKES ME HORNY' and she told me later she will never look at my lj again LOLOL
Yeah, fb is really draining. I've been doing it more recently, but it's something I do when I don't know what to do with myself. It's bad because the times I get more into looking at facebook are the exact times I need to avoid stuff like that lol....
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Date: 2016-10-04 06:47 pm (UTC)IKR. I've unfollowed some people atm. Mental vacation from politics and such.
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Date: 2016-10-04 06:31 pm (UTC)I think this guy should write fortunes on fortune cookies. That's just so wonderfully enigmatic.
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Date: 2016-10-04 06:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-10-05 11:18 pm (UTC)ALSO PORN!
(I read all of this post but I'm in a weird mood so I can't just reply to it all right now. but now that I read it.)
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Date: 2016-10-05 11:35 pm (UTC)YES PORN I've been like slowly writing the review but uploading the pictures is annoying because tumblr is stupid and keeps having upload errors and stuff so IDK when I'll ever finish it XD
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Date: 2016-10-06 10:42 pm (UTC)OH boo evil tumblr LOL