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So, last time we had a few tests of our strength with Field Day and our first akido match, but now it's time for... our school exams!



We only have three weeks to prepare...

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Well, we have successfully completed our first date, and it was very cute! But it's back to the daily grind. But we will meet some new friends this time!

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Well, we finally got one of our invitations accepted! So it's time to go on our first date. Hopefully we can get past the initial meeting part...

But we still have to finish out this week of school, too.

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So, we watched the introduction to our new high school life at Moegino High last time, but we didn't get to any kind of actual gameplay. And today, have I got some gameplay for you! Well, I hope you like reading about game systems at least. And there are still cute girls, don't worry.

But if you're curious how the game plays, this will cover most of the basics of how the game plays out. So let's get started~

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Soooo last night I was going to the bathroom to get ready for bed and my dad??? came home?????????? and had someone with him????? Maybe even 2 people idk. But yeah like... they were loud and like... started watching TV... so I would have to cross in front of them to get back to my room. And I hadn't done anything in the bathroom yet and I was afraid to because there were people there lol. So I like... spent a lot of time sitting on the toilet, sitting on the floor, sitting in the bathtub... (I was thinking maybe I could trick everyone into thinking that I wasn't in there and had just accidentally left the light on and door closed, and if anyone came in just hold my breath in the tub behind the curtains and UH YEAH I QUICKLY REALIZED HOW STUPID OF AN IDEA THAT WAS LOL)

Anyway, I eventually (about like an hour of being in there lol) flushed the toilet and washed my hands even though I hadn't done anything but sit around and then went out and like dashed across the room and my dad asked if I was okay and I said maybe and they (?) like kind of chuckled???? IDEK who was there or whatever because I didn't look lol. But there was definitely someone because I could hear the VOICESSSSS

So uh the main reason I left the bathroom was because I remembered I had a like big bottle (like it had Gold Peak tea in it, maybe around 2 liters? 1.5 liters?) that I keep water in to give to the roachies, but I stopped using it because their spray bottle has ample water, so I just kinda had that empty Gold Peak bottle sitting around. And I was like... oh I can pee in that and then throw it out later LOL. Because I could like... put on headphones and put my headset on and sit by the fan bc I wouldn't be able to hear them.

Because I can't pee if I can hear like... literally any noises at all? Like constant noises like fan or a/c or whatever is fine but like... hearing like... things that come and go like footstep or w/e, I can't. It's not really a social anxiety thing because stuff like thunder or birds on the roof or whatever do it too LOL it's because I have to concentrate??? and all noises distract and scare me so :))))))))))

ANYWAY I got back to my room and had a mini panic attack and then remembered that I had thrown that bottle away lolllll. So I still had to go to the bathroom but I certainly couldn't go back out now.

And it was still kinda noisy like... they were being quiet but similar to peeing I can't sleep if I can hear anything at all because like anyk ind of sounds trigger my anxiety and knowing people are awake when I'm trying to sleep does too (because I'm afraid they WILL make sounds, even if they're not now lol)

So uh I took some hydroxyzine (fortunately I had water in my room from earlier and hadn't drunk it all yet) which did not help at all and then laid on the floor with my head under my desk and put my fan on the floor so it would drown out noise and like... tried to sleep but I couldn't at all because there were people and I had to pee lmfao.

So uhhh after some period of time that felt both long and short, they went into his bedroom and went to sleep, and I sat with my back to the door making sure everything was quiet before leaving my room, and eventually got to go to the bathroom and they were sleeping I guess because it was quiet so I was able to go to sleep after that. Then I only slept like 6 hours but that's like... enough sleep but I usually sleep like 7-8 hours so idk. But I think I just woke up because the sun came out and I like to have my blinds open so the sun can wake me up. And anymore I feel like I don't sleep through the sun (which is good, that's what I wanted XD)

Anyway, so this morning I figured since I didn't sleep much and they'll probably laze around in there for a while, I could brave going out again, since it was quiet, so I managed to go to the bathroom without making much noise with doors or whatever but of course the toilet and sink make noise whether you want them to or not. And then I could hear mumbling from my dad's room since the bathroom is adjacent...

SO LOL CUE ANXIETY AGAIN FUN TIMESSSSS

But uhhh I forced myself to make breakfast since I really doubted they'd just suddenly spring up and exit the room after a little groggy mumbling. I was only making a peanut butter sandwich so it should not take long. And it didn't and I got back to my room yay. Even though I don't like to eat in here anymore but... I'm not risking sitting out at the dining table lmfao.

But uh I need to exercise and shower and stuff but I definitely can't do that if a human being might exist in close proximity to me so I guess I will just suffer lmfao. I already didn't exercise on Thursday for Reasons, and then Friday I normally don't exercise anyway so uhhh this would be three days of no esize?

I guess I could like... just do it and then sit in here a sweaty mess in front of the fan until I knew everything was clear so I could go take a shower.

Oh, but I need to go get water... I guess I'll do that now while it's still quiet????? I really don't want to leave but the anxiety is not too bad right now, like once I know they're really awake for the day it will be horrible, so I'm kind of anticipating that and that makes me anxious but I did eat and take my pill cocktail so I'm feeling okay right now... just a little nervous in anticipation. But also typing stuff like this calms me down too lololol.

So uh yeah I think I will go try to get water now. The water cooler isn't noisy since the cooling mechanism broke and I won't have to use the faucet so I should be able to do it pretty silently. But idk why I keep sitting here and typing because pretty much every moment is a countdown til they get up sooo LOL.

OK I GOT WATER YAYYYYY. I'm pretty sure they didn't wake up or anything yet, just maybe a little when I went to bathroom but went back to sleep.

Now the sun is at a position in the sky where it's like right in my face and hard to look at computer sooo this is when I would normally start exercising and stuff. So I guess I should do that?

I'm kinda nervous about them like... waking up while I'm exercising...?????????????????????????

Maybe I will just... sit on the floor in the corner and put my face on the wall for several hours :)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Uh recently I've been debating to myself if I should try to apply for disability, but I keep feeling like I don't need it and that I'm cheating and stuff and that they'll call my doctors and they'll be like wtf no!! and then refuse to treat me or something LMFAO and I realize that's stupid but I at least want to talk to the doctor about it first though???? But uh I'd want to talk to both my therapist and my psychologist about it first, and probably talk it over with Dens and all those things are anxiety sooooo lmao I'll probably just do nothing.

Anyway the reason I mentioned this is because I keep thinking "No, I'm just being lazy. I could get a job if I would just go out and do it" but uhhh I can't even go to the bathroom in my own fucking apartment because like... people exist??

And this isn't a like "strangers" thing, like if it was just my dad coming home alone and watching TV it would have been the same and this same kind of thing has happens all the time, like I can't even go to the bathroom with Dennis is folding laundry or something lol.

Uh but the whole like, not wanting to exercise and stuff is a 'strangers' thing I guess? Or maybe an 'unpredictable situation' thing, because I would be fine if it was just my dad and brother like normal, I think because I know what do expect from them? Like I know they would definitely not come into my room suddenly or like... be out in the main areas for very long? Unless it was just my dad sitting in his chair which... only sometimes causes me anxiety and makes me unable to leave my room but since Prozac+therapy I've at least been able to leave my room when my dad is sitting quietly in his chair lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

As I type this it sounds funny lol. Like it doesn't even sound real? Like, I'm thinking about what I am writing and I'm like "hahaha wtf that is weird and dumb??? who actually thinks like that???" BUT UH IT IS REAL?????

BUT UH ANYWAY my point is like... I feel like if I struggle just to like take care of basic needs like bathroom simply because I might hear a noise or a person exists in the general vicinity like... maybe that is enough to consider myself disabled? I mean I do consider myself disabled already but like I mean "fully" disabled by government standards or whatever lmfao. Since you can't get social security for "partial" disability (even if it meant you were only partially able to support and take care of yourself, which makes no sense, but I'm not going to get political right now lmfaooo)

So yeah sun is in my face and I'm like staring at the floor and squinting my eyes and trying to just look up now and then when a cloud goes by to make sure I'm typing everything right... gotta check for those squiggly reds lolol. So uh I really should do something other than sit on the computer, like ... exercise ...

but anxiety :) And I kind of feel like vomiting and have a headache now like... all of a sudden??? But I think it's just my brain doing the like... force-my-body-to-procrastinate thing, which is an entirely other mental problem I have so yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy life.

Like IDK I don't really feel bad right now like I feel like this is so ridiculous and silly that it doesn't even seem real and I feel like I'm like... watching someone else type all this out, like it's a movie about me but I'm not me (loll) and I'm like just sitting here thinking about ridiculous and unrealistic this person is and it's like mildly humorous, but not in the way where you really laugh, but where you just keep watching because it at least hits that bare minimum level of entertainment to where you don't end up doing anything else.

And uh now I have to go to the bathroom again but this isn't the procrastination thing, this is just around when I usually have my ~*~DAILY BOWEL MOVEMENT~*~ sooo uhhh lol. But I definitely don't feel up to doing that right now but uh I have a lot of experience with holding bowel movements. I can go days. I'm a pro. Doesn't that like... give you cancer or something? Maybe I'll commit suicide by never taking a shit lmfaooooooooooooooo

I'm not really feeling suicidal right now I just thought that was funny but it's not because all of this is real and I'm really this much of a mess lmfaooooo but I GUESS I AM STILL LAUGHING?

Anyway, THE SUN is attacking my (it's solar jutsu~~~ It's using Starfixer to paralyze me... it should just use Daybreak and end this madness XDD)

Actually I want a shadow servant so I can make them go do everything for me XD Ummm but I guess that can't poo for me so oops.

Well they could go get a bucket and I could poo in that and make them go dispose of it.

Except if I had a Shadow Servant, the Servant would probably have anxiety, too, right? lol whenever I think about that thing where you have a clone and make the clone do all the stuff you don't want to do ... like... the clone would not want to do it either... and would want you to do it LOL like why would the close like just... be in servitude to you... it makes no sense.

OK SUN PLEASE STOP I PROMISE I WILL DO GOO DIN THIS WORLDLDSDGKSLGKJ

I really can't be at the computer anymore or I will go blind, so... I'm either going to cry in a corner or exercise (prolly the latter, actually, because I'm feeling a bit better after typing all this out lmao, and I did successfully get water!!! in a cup!!!! I'm a grown-up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

ETA: JK I HEARD A FAINT SOUND SO I AM JUST LYING ON THE FLOOR LOL

Well now I'm sitting like awkwardly against the wall with my usb keboard on my lap loll it's pretty much impossible to see the screen qithout like getting close to it and squienteting so I odont' even know if i'm typing stuff right? Like, I generally make a lot of mistakes while typing, and I'm catchin a lot right now because I can 'feel' them, like I just typed 'fell' and realized I did then knew how many tyimes to press backspace but I also know that i'm like... randomly hitting lots of other keys and stuff, and earlier I typed some word and knew I missed it up bad but didn't know how to correct it so I just left it and you probably can't even tell what word it is because I was basically just like hitting random keys.

Anyway no exercise for me now :) Also it's hot in here because there's no a/ in my room (I odn't heven have a proper room, I just like... sleep in a den LOL and there's no like a/c or heating or anything in here XD er, there's heating nvm. But it's like this weird heated ceiling thing and it's either no heat or it's 200 degrees soooo lmfao.

Actually I had something I was going to say when I started typing this??? But I've alrady forgotten it :\

OH YEAH

I was gonna say like... i'm trying to do the whole like... rationalizing thing like...

OK so like the first thing I have to do is recognize if this fear is a rational/beneficial thing and like... it's not but... sudden sounds or people suddenly talking to me can give me an anxiety attack or panic attack and that's more what I'm afraid of, than the sounds themselves, I think? So I in a way I guess it's a RATIONAL fear, in a sense, but lie.... it's not beneficial????


nvm I'm just going to say NO... so I guess really the best thing to do would to be to... pretend like... I'm okay... so I GUESS I SHOULD EXERCISE??? But I kinda have to calm down from the noise lol. I think it was my brother opening his door lol X_X

I want to hug my Palkia but it's across the room and I don't want to like... move from this spot lol.

Oh I got some graph paper the other day (my dad like... brought it home from a garage sale idk) so I think I will graph trig functions or something lol because graphs make me happee

Apr. 14th, 2017 10:54 am
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Wow, so I guess people really are leaving LJ en masse.
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This is a makeshift masterpost for now, just so I have easy links to all the entries. I'll dress this up later~

1. First day at Moegino High
2. Let's High School!
3. Our first date!
4. Fitness Tests
5. School Exams
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I've been meaning to start writing this for a while now, but kept getting distracted by stuff. But it's finally here and I'm pretty excited!

Tokimeki Memorial is a "love simulation" series by Konami that revolves around simulating the entire high school experience with a focus on dating and finding a girlfriend. But it's not all dating -- you'll still have to manage your studies, club activities, hobbies, and more.

The series took a lot of turns at its third entry, going from 2D portraits to fully-animated 3D models for the characters, and adding new gameplay systems and mechanics while changing some of the others. The large casts of the first two games have dwindled down to just a few girls you can get to know this time around, too.

In exchange, though, I feel that the characters were very fleshed out and all of the new game systems added a lot to the simulation aspect of the game, and made the game a lot more engaging to play. The biggest downside is that the new art direction is abysmal -- even though this is perhaps my favorite game in the series, I have to admit it is very ugly.

I'll go into more detail about what I like and dislike about the game and what makes it so ugly as we go, though! So let's just get started.

Read more... )
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The final Elemental Gear we need to collect was entrusted to the Anubito Tribe, the same Tribe that Dagul Bos comes from, which is a little unnerving.

Before we set out, we have a few little errands to run, though.

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With more than half of the Elemental Gears collected and a couple new friends in the party, Laura and Henri are close to unraveling the secret of the Blade of Escata.

The two remaining Gears were entrusted to the Anubito and the Petran. Dagul Bos, who destroyed Escata looking for the Blade, is an Anubito, so we're going to save that adventure for last. So it's off the Petran Tribe, who says their Gear is hidden in the Cavern of Murals.

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After obtaining the Crown of Ares from Daddy Lord Galeos and meeting with Armic to plunder the Boots of Vayu from the Regal Lion's treasury, we're off to look for another one of the Elemental Gears.

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After learning about the Elemental Gears from King Foujant's books in Escata Palace, four new adventures open up in the inn (drowning out subadventures, too). We're able to search for the Elemental Gears in any order we want, so we're going to head to Chapa to ask about the Boots of Vayu.

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After an arduous journey south, we've finally reached Vaftom and made it to the festival, even if we were a bit late. Luckily, there don't seem to be any assassins at the festival (well, I guess there are those ones Kurt dealt with, but we don't need to worry about those now!) so we are free to uh... enjoy ourselves. Or cry.

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Last time, Laura met Henri, the Prince of Escata, as he was escaping assassins and literally ran into her at the funeral for her late husband Pablo. Laura agreed to escort Henri to Vaftom, which is the only place he's ever been besides Vaftom.

A quick stop at the inn, and we're ready to embark on the road again south.

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It's time for yet another UNLIMITED:Saga adventure! I actually started this and have been playing for a while -- just haven't been making the posts. I also got almost all the way to the end of the story and then realized my screencaps weren't working at all, and I couldn't go back to the last point they had worked, so I had to restart the entire game from the beginning :) Fun!

I've played Laura's scenario several times, and it was the first one I actually cleared in the game. There are two story paths, but I've actually only ever seen one of them. Though, I think, like Kurt's, they're not huge differences, but a little different at how things end up. So I'll try to get both this time.

Since I've played this before, and since I've been playing this game a lot for a while now and shopping is getting super tedious, I'm going to be doing a "No Shopping" challenge. It doesn't sound all that difficult to me, but I wanted to kind of gauge how difficult no shopping + no repair + no martial might be, without having to get myself stuck doing something that might be way too frustrating right away.

So, with that bit of explanation, we're going to load our clear data from Armic, which tells us we have cleared 4 characters total now, and start a new game!

Read more... )
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Soooo Romancing SaGa 3 was announced to have an official localization (meaning Scarlet Grace is now the only game in the series that doesn't have a western release either now or upcoming in some form)

But uh, I was thinking...

Since this is going to be the updated version of the game on Vita, should I postpone my Play Diary for the game so I can do it all on that version? I think I'd rather have it all on one version of the game.

Or I was thinking maybe just finish the current one for DW only, not really planning to put it in the final site or something...? But I'm going to want to do the whole harem party thing again in the English version...

Plus, abandoning my current RSG3 run will be taking something off my plate for now. I've been focusing on it the least out of everything right now, so... Plus I think that game will be a lot better to play on Vita. I hope they don't change the balance too much because I want to grind Magma again XD I think they didn't really change anything for the RSG2 enhanced port, so... XD

woo

Apr. 11th, 2017 10:46 pm
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So, I played a bit more into Laura's scenario today. I'm at the point in the story where I'm going to be doing a bunch of subadventuring (LIKE A BUNCH) and so I have a lot of entries to write leading up to that, and a lot of playing without really any entries to do, too. So I can kinda work on both without feeling like I'm falling behind or whatever.

I also started a TokiMemo3 game. I'm going to spend the first play re-learning the game and just trying to meet everyone (well, minus the secret characters) and going over the game flow and systems and stuff and end up with the bad ending, then hopefully let readers choose what to focus on the next time around? Or something, IDK.

To meet everyone:

Makihara - always meet lol
Aizawa - pretty much always meet? not hard
Kawai - takes long to meet, but I got her as 'destiny girl' so yay
Oda - can meet quickly enough
Tachibana - I often have trouble meeting?
Shinjo - can take a long time if you're not trying to meet her and don't know what triggers it lol

I've had trouble meeting Tachibana in the past, so I might join Akido to see if that helps. I shouldn't have any trouble meeting Aizawa and Shinjo, and I feel like Oda is not that hard to meet, either.

My last playthrough (on the actual PS2), I actually was trying to get Tachibana's ending and accidentally ended up getting Makihara's lol X_X;;;

Um but also the first ending I ever got was Kawai's, and because she is kind of obnoxious to meet, I usually don't meet her most games now, unless by accident, and even then, I don't talk to her much, so in a way it's been a long time since I've really paid attention to her.

But, um, she flaps her arms and looks around a lot while talking and does raptor hands and has awkward speech patterns, including talking slower and louder than normal, and has an extreme interest in robots.

Soooo yeah new headcanon: Kawai is on the spectrum. She's so adorable too. I mean, everyone is in this game, but she's maybe my favorite (but ummm I really love Makihara too)

Oh, and speaking of headcanons, I was like... lying awake forever last night coming up with all kinds of weird headcanons for unsaga and Save the Homeland, of all things.

Well, because I am constantly rethinking the dynamic of Gina/Dia/Katie in my head and like this is one of my ultimate OT3s lololol.

But StH headcanons make me sad because they always remind me of LONELY RONALD and yeah XD

Maybe I will think of AnWL/Cute headcanons tonight XD With that, though, I need to get to sleep. Meant to go like 30 min ago... But I was uploading the unsaga/tokimemo pics (got them all up to date XD) and then I decided to write this idk why.

Also, it's so hot in my room??? Like I am really sweaty X_x;

Apr. 11th, 2017 11:11 am
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It seems like lj's new TOS broke DW because too many people were rushing here at once or something hahaha.

I'm almost caught back up to where I realized I wasn't taking any screencaps at all in Laura's scenario lol.

I haven't played with Urpina in a couple of days, but I missed out on a bunch of the characters I was planning on having in my final team. I think I may have talked about this already...? So I'm just kinda picking the best from who I do happen to find, and I'm not going to "try" for any characters from here on out. There are just SO many options and so many missable things in this game, which is both good and bad, but I do have a nice team of 9 and am looking for a 'male' mage for the party now, as the only role I don't really have filled. Though I did look through the characters and it seems there's only one even left available, and getting him seems to require some pretty specific choices, so I MIGHT try for him when I get to that turning point, but I'm also not wanting to look at guides much, so...

Also Urpina has like a million endings or something X_X; Leo only had two and it was based solely on your decision just before the end. Urpina's different endings are impacted as early as finishing the little intro chapter of her story it seems.

But I'm really trying not to look at the guide too much lol. I just looked more when I couldn't find the characters in the locations they were supposed to be, and realized I missed out on a lot of stuff.

I might start writing the Laura scenario play diary later today. I have a looootttt to write because I pretty much am going to be done with the entire story except the last couple of adventures lol. I should probably upload the Urpina caps and start on those, too, because it will take forever...

I've been having a hankering to play SaGa 1 or SaGa 2 recently. I want to make play diaries of them eventually, but I don't want to start them right now, so maybe I'll just play through one of them for fun. I've cleared SaGa 1 a few times, but never SaGa 2, though I've gotten pretty far. Or maybe I should play SaGa 3 even though I ... really don't like it that much haha.

I might actually start the TokiMemo play diary this week, too. Especially since I'll probably get my book today. I'm kinda slowing down on the website because I've been feeling burned out and a friend and my therapist recommended I pace myself better and not put too much pressure on myself.

Also, I mentioned that I looked for a job the other day and my therapist was like shocked and seemed hesitant to accept that and was saying more stuff about how I have to do stuff at my own pace.

In one way I still feel kind of... weird/bad/tired about being treated like a "severe" case (IDK if I mentioned this but I was also instructed to take all sharp objects out of my room lololol) but at the same time it's a bit... reassuring/validating that... I'm not just lazy/stupid and I have serious problems that make it difficult for me to find and maintain jobs and complete tasks and maintain interpersonal relationships and stuff.

Oh, Joe was in town this week and we played Catan yesterday and it was fun but a little awkward, and I guess he and his wife got a divorce, but I didn't know, and I asked them if they were planning on having any kids (which I know is an obnoxious question, but we were already talking about kids/pregnancy so it was not like super random?) and then he was like "oh about that" and I felt terrible, but I guess it was a civil parting, they just realized marriage wasn't for them and are still friends and still work/live together? Er, they might not live together anymore, but I think they still work at the same school (idk lmao I don't ask about details on anything so I never know anything).

Anyway, yeah, that was weird, and we talked about Star Trek which is good and now I feel like watching Trek but I don't because I hate watching things and I'm playing like three SaGa games right now and feeling like starting another for fun and starting Tokimemo and like... lol. And I feel like drawing recently, too -- I want to be able to make a coloring book for dens for his birthday, which is over two months away, but making an entire book's worth of drawings could easily take two months or more, so I should get started on it. Probably I should dedicate at least one day a week to it, and I don't want to do it when he's around because I want the contents to be a surprise (though I could easily hide it from him when he's around anyway since it's not like he looks at my computer screen that much and his eyesight is very poor so he hardly can see anything on it anyway, and I can just zoom or minimize when he's near so he can't see what it is... actually I might be more motivated to work on it around him, so... maybe I'll start doing that...)

ok

Apr. 7th, 2017 07:55 pm
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OK I finally got around to adding everyone back and looking at your journals and stuff here lol. I didn't have internet for 3 days. Now I'm at dens. I can't remember if I like... talked about this already.

I've been playing a lot of Scarlet Grace because it's like the only thing I could really do without internet LOL and uhhhhh I'm kinda mad at it XD Not really but... I made a list of all the characters I wanted to recruit and the place where you get them (like the province only) so I could try for them without too much spoilers...

But uh...

Your choices in this game seem to DRASTICALLY change things and you can easily just get locked out of TONS of content because your response in a conversation wasn't the right thing or whatever lol. And when I wasn't able to find a couple characters, like ones who were listed specifically as Act I (Urpina's story is divided into three acts) I like... looked at the little walkthrough outline for what I had finished and realized just how much I missed.

I mean, it's like... by missing some stuff you get to see other stuff so it's like... not like you're just... missing out and not getting anything else, it's just that there are so many different ways it can go and this means completely missing out on recruitable characters and stuff and like uh ALL THE CHARACTERS I WANTED I either missed or can't get til like... the very end of the game apparently so?? I don't know what I will do now XD

Even though I was so mad about having to completely restart Laura's scenario I like... already feel like playing again LOL. Usually that kind of thing like makes me super discouraged and not want to touch a game for a long time but... I just really like unsaga or something hahaha.
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Last time, we journeyed into the Devil Emperor's Palace to look for one of the Abyss Gates, only to find a sealed door that we can't enter for now. But with a teleportation seal that will lead us right back, our journey was not in vain, and now we're going to head out to find another Abyss Gate.

Read more... )

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